Who Are You?
Welcome back to another episode of Diary of a Worthy Pursuit! In today’s episode titled “Who Are You,” we delve into the deeply personal and sometimes overwhelming challenge of understanding our true selves and how it impacts our daily lives. Our hosts, Speaker A and Speaker B, guide us through captivating conversations about aligning values with time, setting and achieving goals, and the pitfalls of losing sight of our identity. Join us as we explore the importance of self-reflection, accountability, and the power of defining who we are to make informed decisions in both our personal and professional pursuits. Stay tuned as we unravel these thought-provoking discussions and discover the path to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. Let’s dive in!
Topic: Understanding Who You Are and Your Values
– Speaker A’s coaching client feeling overwhelmed and not having time for her own life
– Running a coffee shop she didn’t want to be in
– Taking care of her one-year-old child
– Importance of understanding who you are and your values
– Feeling motivated and excited about life every day
– Aligning values with time and making decisions based on what truly matters
– Speaker B feeling pulled in different directions and constantly reacting
– Neglecting important aspects of life like parenting
– Concerns about their child growing up and transitioning to college
Topic: Overcoming Obstacles and Goal Setting
– Visualizing and planning to handle competing values and goals
– Goal-setting workshops to identify obstacles and strategies to overcome them
– Examples of obstacles: laziness, distractions, discomfort, fear of cold calling
– Asking empowering questions and finding ways to make tasks enjoyable
– The importance of accountability to stay motivated and committed to goals
– Celebration of wins to stay motivated and push for big goals
Topic: Defining Values and Envisioning the Future
– The significance of defining values in making decisions
– Writing a letter to your future self as a powerful goal-setting and motivation exercise
– Speaker B’s realization of the value of money in relation to their dog’s quality of life
– Importance of knowing one’s values in making decisions
Topic: How We Define Ourselves
– Reflecting on how one defines themselves and meditating on it
– A conversation with a child about their job revealing a sense of pride and affirmation
– The innocent and thought-provoking questions of children
– Challenges and perceptions of respective professions
– Seeking the perspective of a child to gain clarity on one’s identity
Topic: Finding Clarity and Purpose
– The impact of interruptions and choices on one’s identity
– Speaker B’s struggle with unplugging from work and enjoying planned activities
– Speaker B unintentionally training employees to rely on him instead of finding solutions
– Speaker A relating to this experience with her children and promoting independence
– Losing one’s sense of purpose and finding their way back
– The importance of staying connected to initial motivations and not just going through the motions
Topic: Definition of Values and Spending Money
– How one’s values affect decision-making and where one spends money
– The contrasting views on pets between Speaker B and their father
– The significant cost Speaker B incurred for their dog’s surgery
– Mailing letters to clients and acknowledging little wins
– Being grateful and defining values through gratitude
Topic: Frustration with Lack of Professionalism and Commitment
– Speaker B’s frustrating experience with a veterinarian
– Lack of accountability and knowledge from the veterinarian
– Uncertainty regarding the dog’s health and frustration with the situation
– Comparing the veterinarian’s behavior to a salesman selling unnecessary tools
– Speaker B’s decision not to proceed with further surgery due to risk versus reward
– Disappointment in the veterinarian’s lack of professionalism and commitment
Note: The sequence and organization of the topics and sub-topics may vary depending on the episode’s flow and editing.
Transcript:
Speaker A [00:00:06]:
So one of the 1st coaching clients I had, got on a discovery call with me and said, I just don’t have time for my life. And I thought, what does that even mean? So we dug deeper, and this woman was running a coffee shop that was bought by her husband and his brother. She didn’t really wanna be in the business, but she had a 1 year old at home. She wasn’t working, and she just felt stuck. She didn’t know who she was or what she wanted. And so she was really just struggling to get motivated every day, and she was going through the motions, but didn’t really feel excited about life. And that was really hard for her when she had a 1 year old at home that she was trying to take care of and show up for. And so at the end of the day, we helped her discover that it’s really important to understand who you are and where you’re headed just so every day feels like one that’s worth getting up So that’s what we’re gonna talk about today.
Speaker B [00:01:02]:
Welcome to diary of a worthy pursuit.
Speaker A [00:01:04]:
Where we talk about how to get what you truly want in life in business.
Speaker B [00:01:08]:
That is a brutal thing to say. Right. I don’t have time for my life. Mhmm. What else do you have time for?
Speaker A [00:01:14]:
Yeah. Well and I think that some some of us find especially when you were working for someone else, we find ourselves in this trap of, like, everyone else has control of my schedule, and I have no control over my own.
Speaker B [00:01:23]:
Prefer.
Speaker A [00:01:24]:
And one of the things that I really preach when I’m working with clients is like, hey. We need to understand what your values are and then align your time with that. So at the end of the day, you feel like you actually spent your time on stuff that matters, and you wanna wake up again tomorrow.
Speaker B [00:01:37]:
Right. That you accomplished what you wanted or at least Headed the right direction.
Speaker A [00:01:40]:
Exactly.
Speaker B [00:01:41]:
And that you can actually appreciate the life that you’ve been given Mhmm. Rather than feeling like it’s a burden.
Speaker A [00:01:46]:
Or just a you’re just a hamster on a wheel. Right? Like like Groundhog’s Day, you just show up and do the same thing over and over and
Speaker B [00:01:52]:
over again. I said that to my wife yesterday. Yeah. I had employee leave, clients. And I’m just like, some days, I just feel like I’m a rat on a wheel. Just
Speaker A [00:02:02]:
But in those moments, it really helps to to remind yourself who you are, what your values are, and why you’re doing what you’re doing. Right? So you wanna show up the next day.
Speaker B [00:02:10]:
Yeah. It’s one of those you have to separate yourself or, No. That’s not correct. You have to distance yourself from it so you know that, things happen. Right? Because you have a plan, you have strategies, and all this kind of stuff. Mhmm. But you also have plan for things like this happening Yeah. And just expect the unexpected, so to speak.
Speaker A [00:02:28]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:02:28]:
And then be able to adapt to it.
Speaker A [00:02:30]:
I also find that when you have this more in check and you have this understanding, it makes making a lot of decisions in life much easier, like business decisions, but also how you’re gonna spend your time, where you’re gonna say yes or no. Right? Everything gets kinda filtered through this. But if you don’t have a could handle on this, it’s easy to lose yourself in everything that other people want you to do. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:02:51]:
You’re constantly being pulled Mhmm. In 50 different directions. Yeah. It feels like you’re in constant reaction mode. Yeah. Instead of anticipation or planning or strategizing.
Speaker A [00:03:00]:
Right. Mhmm. Right. So this whole idea of trying to, you know, discover who are you really and and why are you why are you here? I think one of the first things that that I think cloud is, what are my values? Like, if I could erase my entire calendar
Speaker B [00:03:16]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:03:16]:
And I got to design plan. Right? Like, take
Speaker B [00:03:19]:
amazing right there.
Speaker A [00:03:21]:
Take off all the work commitments or the business commitments or the family commitments and whatever, and it’s it’s a blank week in front of me. What do I put in first? What do I wanna make sure I have time for? And those might be things like, hey. I really know I need to be taking care of my health. I value that. And if I wanna be around, then I need to make sure I’m focusing on that. So cool. Let’s make sure that, you know, health is a part of what you are, so let’s fill in some time for health. Maybe it’s like you have kids or you have a relationship you have, you know, parents or brothers or sisters that you wanna spend time with, family is a value.
Speaker A [00:03:55]:
Cool. Let’s make sure that family gets on your calendar. And then you start taking yourself back and broadening the circle and adding to that calendar based on, you know, what’s important. But if you if you look at your calendar right now, and you say the only thing that’s on here is work, then I’m gonna tell you then you are your work. Yeah. Right?
Speaker B [00:04:14]:
Mhmm. Yeah. It’s interesting as you say that. I’m like, wait second. I’m thinking of my calendar. It’s an insane amount of work.
Speaker A [00:04:22]:
Yeah. Yeah. Well but that also has to do with who you are. Right? So you’re a business owner. You have been for years, you’re striving, and you’re you have your why for doing that. But I I don’t think that there’s this, like, heavyweight on yeah. Your work requires more time. But as a parent, you still, you know, you still value your relationship with your wife.
Speaker A [00:04:41]:
You still value your relationship with your kids. You might get less cost time, but the work you’re doing is in service to those relationships too.
Speaker B [00:04:49]:
So the I understand what you’re saying, and I’m falling into that trap of saying I’m, working on building something better for the future.
Speaker A [00:04:58]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:04:59]:
But then I’m looking at my kid. He’s 9.
Speaker A [00:05:02]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:05:03]:
And a buddy of mine, his kid just went off to college. Oh. And it’s interesting. You can just tell something’s missing, Or he’s just he’s, he’s challenged a little bit and that he doesn’t know like, he’s so used to being needed.
Speaker A [00:05:20]:
Yeah. Classes. Right.
Speaker B [00:05:20]:
In that way with this kid, you know, help him out with whatever. Mhmm. Whatever it is, and now his kid’s on his own.
Speaker A [00:05:26]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:05:26]:
Go off to college, whatever. And it’s it’s a chunk that’s classes like you spent 18, 19 years, whatever.
Speaker A [00:05:33]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:05:33]:
Hopefully, that’s it. Right. Not not long. He’s 30 and living in the basement. Raising this kid and feeding them, taking care of them, teaching them, and now the kid is off and running on their own. So you hope you did well, But then you have this, like, oh, what do I do now kind of thing?
Speaker A [00:05:51]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:05:51]:
So it’s a finite level of time that you have with your kids
Speaker A [00:05:55]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:05:56]:
Or your spouse or whatever Right. Or just even you’re having fun
Speaker A [00:06:00]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:06:00]:
That it’s difficult to prioritize it. I’ll give you a really quick story.
Speaker A [00:06:04]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:06:05]:
Class. I told I was planning out my calendar. I said, I’m gonna take Fridays off. I’m not gonna work on Fridays. Friday is gonna be amazing because wife will be at work, kid will be in school, and I will have time to do the Stuff that I wanna do that I normally don’t get a chance to do. Right?
Speaker A [00:06:22]:
Okay.
Speaker B [00:06:23]:
And I have huge dreams. Right? I’m gonna go kayaking.
Speaker A [00:06:26]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:06:27]:
Motorcycle riding. Right. I can go on little day trips. It’ll be Amazeballs. Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:06:32]:
I don’t
Speaker B [00:06:32]:
even think that lasted 2 Fridays.
Speaker A [00:06:34]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:06:34]:
Right. I had this thing, And I think it’s it must be like a Midwest work ethic thing where I felt guilty for not being at work.
Speaker A [00:06:44]:
Yeah. Productivity guilt.
Speaker B [00:06:45]:
For yeah. For not for not work because I had employees that were working.
Speaker A [00:06:49]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:06:50]:
And every once in a while, they would have question or something like that, and so you get interrupted with work. And when they interrupt you, it’s just easier to be in front of a computer being like, oh, let me help you with that. Boom, boom, boom, rather than being in the middle of a lake on a kayak. Yeah. I’m like, let me try to walk you through this thing.
Speaker A [00:07:06]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:07:06]:
And it’s one of those where I’m like, that’s not you’re not taking a break because you’re not actually fully unplugging Mhmm. Or being away even for this 2 hour
Speaker A [00:07:14]:
Well and I would venture to say that each time that you were interrupted client you you gave that interruption your thought
Speaker B [00:07:23]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:07:24]:
That was a vote toward the vision of you. Right? So you had this vision of you that that didn’t work, and so votes that would help you with that are like like streaks. So how many Fridays in a row can I get? And I would venture to say that the more Fridays in a row that you got not working, the easier it would have been to do that. Right? You can bounce some tips and tricks to continue that. But because each time you were interrupted, you honored that interruption and gave that your attention. Instead then, you’re voting to yourself, well, I’m the kind of person who can’t step away from work because my employees made me. Right. So it’s no matter which one we honor, it’s a vote toward the kind of person we’re allowing ourselves to become
Speaker B [00:08:02]:
Okay.
Speaker A [00:08:02]:
Because it’s the our our story follows our action, I what was it? Something about, like, people I’m gonna butcher this. It’s people don’t change themselves. They change their behaviors, and then their behaviors change Oh. Themselves. So it’s something like class Totally fair. The little decisions and choices that we make then roll up into these bigger decisions that end
Speaker B [00:08:27]:
up being
Speaker A [00:08:27]:
the big change. Yeah. So what I find interesting about that though is that you explored something else. You wanted to honor this other part of yourself, and then you felt yourself being pulled back.
Speaker B [00:08:37]:
Really hard.
Speaker A [00:08:38]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:08:38]:
Class Really hard. Yeah. Because I was trying to build a business and not a job. Mhmm. And I am every time I get even remotely close to classes a business and not a job, I get pulled back.
Speaker A [00:08:51]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:08:51]:
And it’s one of those things where I’m like, god. What happened?
Speaker A [00:08:55]:
Well, who’s who’s doing the pulling? What’s the
Speaker B [00:08:59]:
employees. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Employees. And through I wouldn’t necessarily say any fault of their own. I guess I mean, you can probably you always blame the top. Right?
Speaker A [00:09:10]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:09:10]:
Sure. It’s probably their fault. So from my point of view, it’s an interesting question. From my point of view, I trained them Mhmm. Unintentionally to Like, I was their safety net.
Speaker A [00:09:26]:
Sure.
Speaker B [00:09:27]:
So if ever they ran into something that they didn’t know how, then they can always fall back on me.
Speaker A [00:09:32]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:09:33]:
But they ended up, like, it Reliant. Yeah. They end up jumping off the tight rope and just relying on the net rather than just saying, like, oh, I know it’s there. I can still walk across the tight rope. Yeah. So it was because I remember getting calls where you’re just like, you could’ve figured this out. Mhmm. Or you I mean, I could probably solve it 2 minutes faster than you Could’ve, but Sure.
Speaker B [00:09:53]:
But you just interrupted my time and
Speaker A [00:09:55]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:09:55]:
Whatever, and I’m paying you. You’re not paying me kind of thing.
Speaker A [00:09:59]:
My husband calls that the let Let me Google that for you, interruption.
Speaker B [00:10:02]:
Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes.
Speaker A [00:10:04]:
Like, honey, how do I clean out the filter in the dishwasher? It’s not working. And he will send me a link link to let me Google that for you, which is like how to clean the dishwasher
Speaker B [00:10:13]:
animated thing?
Speaker A [00:10:13]:
And then it goes. And you’re like, oh my gosh. Okay. I get it. But I hear you in that that it’s hard, especially when it’s your team and you feel like they’re relying on you, you built this business. You’re supposed to be there for your employees to help them grow. Client I feel this way sometimes about my kids. Oh.
Speaker A [00:10:29]:
Like, I have a 4 and a 6 year old, and they can get dressed by themselves.
Speaker B [00:10:34]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:10:34]:
They’re very capable of this, but they do it faster through and I help. Oh. So there’s this line between, like, do I wanna get out of the house on time, or do I want to enable independence? Mhmm. And it’s different every I ever did. It depends how late we are.
Speaker B [00:10:48]:
Alright.
Speaker A [00:10:49]:
But I think in in that situation, it’s true. Right? When you have values competing against each other, clear, we’re not gonna be, we can’t be tens in all of our life domains at once. Mhmm. So then it’s helpful to know and actually visualize that in advance and say, okay. When work butts up against life, how am I gonna handle this? Because if you visualize it in advance, then it’s easier to make the decision in the moment. So one of the things I was just telling you, I’m doing a goal setting workshop with a client after we’re done here today. And one of the things that we do when we’re looking at that is, you know, I have this big dream, this big goal of what I wanna do, now what could get in the way? Oh. And the reason that we even start thinking about that is because then it’s less likely to trip us up if we’ve already visualized what could get in our way and how we’re gonna get around it.
Speaker A [00:11:35]:
Okay. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:11:36]:
Interesting. Client How do you figure out what’s gonna
Speaker A [00:11:39]:
be annoying? I mean, you don’t
Speaker B [00:11:41]:
ever
Speaker A [00:11:41]:
fully know. Okay. Right? But you can start thinking about, you know so for example, if one of my goals is I wanna do business development every day and spend, let’s say, even just a half hour, I wanna contact 5 people every day. Mhmm. Okay. Well, what’s gonna in my way, well, just sheer laziness of saying no. Right? Not being at my computer because I’m changing the laundry in the home office, something like that. Right? The discomfort of the fact that calling people I don’t know is hard.
Speaker A [00:12:06]:
That can get in my way. So how am I gonna get over that? What else can get in my way? Other distractions. Right? Like my email, someone asking me to do something else, you know, something for a client. Right? And then you think through each of these scenarios and you think, okay. How am I gonna get around the laundry distracting me? Cool. I’m gonna put in a load of laundry in the morning, and I’m then I’m gonna change it at lunch or something, and then I’m not gonna touch it. Clients Alright. So then I know that that’s not gonna pull me away when my reminder shows up at 9 o’clock that I’m going to do business development.
Speaker A [00:12:34]:
Okay. So the next thing that could get in your way the discomfort. You don’t like cold calling people. True. Yeah. Like, there’s some fear there. I could they could say no or whatever. I gotta say the right thing.
Speaker A [00:12:45]:
Well, then what can you do to help yourself get around that? Then ask yourself questions like I like to ask, well, what if this could be fun? Oh. Well, what if cold calling were fun and, you know, or are what if I am just curious and I’m not selling anything? You know? What if this, that, whatever? So I try to help can I? Right? Right. How can I serve and not So Sure? How can I make this fun? So thinking about the the thing that can trip you up and trying to find a way around it in advance is helpful.
Speaker B [00:13:10]:
Alright. Yeah. I like clients. I love that. That’s cool.
Speaker A [00:13:13]:
It is.
Speaker B [00:13:13]:
So where do you think you’ll be after that 90 days, or where do you think your group will be?
Speaker A [00:13:17]:
Yeah. So this last 90 day challenge that we’re doing, you know, You know, I hope that we are we’ve made progress. Okay. So what we’re doing is we we set big goals at the beginning of the 90 days, and we’re meeting weekly, we’re doing momentum Monday calls.
Speaker B [00:13:31]:
Oh, nice. And so we
Speaker A [00:13:32]:
talk about, like, what’s your weekly big three? What do you wanna accomplish these this week? And then we go through, like, how how do you handle the messy middle? Like, how do you handle the mindset of, like, you should be further along? You should be working on Saturdays to hit these goals, whatever. So we talk about different clicks, and then at the end, we talk about or no. We lead with wins, and we end with what’s your weekly big three.
Speaker B [00:13:52]:
Gotcha.
Speaker A [00:13:53]:
And then we ask each other because accountability is another huge thing. Huge. So if I say that I wanna grow my business and then at the end of the week, I didn’t spend any time growing my business, well, that’s a huge disconnect.
Speaker B [00:14:03]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:14:04]:
And but the fact that I then have to tell you that I didn’t spend any time growing my business, like, there’s a whole lot of cognitive dissonance. And so if that means that, like, Thursday, I’m sending out some emails so I can say on Friday that I did the thing Mhmm. That’s sometimes motivational.
Speaker B [00:14:18]:
My dog ate my homework. Right.
Speaker A [00:14:20]:
But then we’re gonna celebrate wins in January because what is it to push for a big goal if you can’t celebrate when you get there?
Speaker B [00:14:25]:
I think that’s totally worthwhile.
Speaker A [00:14:27]:
I agree. Yeah. Totally agree.
Speaker B [00:14:28]:
Have to.
Speaker A [00:14:29]:
Yeah. So when you’re striving for who you are, again, we’re really kinda coming back to this idea of defining your values. Where do you spend your time? If if your life had higher purpose, what do you want that higher purpose to be?
Speaker B [00:14:41]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:14:43]:
Another exercise that I really like thinking through is, like, imagine yourself 10 years from now. Right? So take your age plus 10. I I have no shame. I’m 38. So I’m gonna take and say 48 year old Jenna is standing in front of me and she’s looking came back at me. What is she saying? Like, what is her highest contribution to the world? Where does she spend her time? What’s her biggest accomplishment? How does she spend her free time? Right? Think about that 10 year version of you, and then pretend that that 10 year version of you is talking to you. What are they telling you? Or even put yourself in that 48 year old shoe and say, hey, 38 year old Jenna. In 10 years, you’ve grown your business to this.
Speaker A [00:15:22]:
You and your family travel 3 times a year. You do all of these things, and that really can help you define it. Because sometimes when we get stuck in our own box, we’re like, I don’t know where I wanna be. Right. Anywhere is fine. I’ll go wherever I want. But when you’re like, if money were no object, if time were no object, where where do you see yourself in 10 years, and how does that person, you know, write a letter to your younger self? What does that look like? That can really be powerful. Call.
Speaker B [00:15:46]:
Yeah. I love that. I used to have my business planning students write a letter to themselves.
Speaker A [00:15:50]:
Oh, I love that.
Speaker B [00:15:50]:
We did 6 months down the road.
Speaker A [00:15:52]:
Okay.
Speaker B [00:15:53]:
And this was a class where they were just putting their business plan together. Mhmm. And so they’re writing a letter to themselves, their 6 month older self, after they Had gone down the road of starting their business. They probably got a loan or an office or whatever it is that they’re going after, more than just putting pen to paper for their business plan. Yeah. And they wrote that to themselves, and it was, congratulations kind of thing.
Speaker A [00:16:18]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:16:19]:
And so they gave me those letters, and then I mailed them to them 6 months later.
Speaker A [00:16:24]:
How cool.
Speaker B [00:16:24]:
And they like, I never read the letter.
Speaker A [00:16:27]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:16:27]:
So it’s just put your address on there. I’ll slap stamps on there. Clients 6 months,
Speaker A [00:16:32]:
I’ll mail it out. I
Speaker B [00:16:33]:
love that exercise. So hopefully, something turned out for the better or positive, I guess, in the direction that they were wanting.
Speaker A [00:16:40]:
Yeah. Exactly. Clients.
Speaker B [00:16:40]:
But then it was kinda cool because it was self accountability. Mhmm. You’re accountable to your future self, which
Speaker A [00:16:45]:
is kinda
Speaker B [00:16:46]:
interesting, presuming that they remember that a letter was gonna Mhmm. Or I always wonder what would happen. They go to the mailbox, they pull out that letter, and they think, ew. I know what’s in that letter. So I’m not gonna open up another week because I gotta go run
Speaker A [00:17:00]:
and just look things. Right. Right. But, you know, you bring up another good point in in, like, trying to decide who you are is that if you are having a hard time or you said this is who you wanna be and then you get that letter in the mail and you’re I’m not where I wanna be. Right. Like, even just acknowledging your little wins and saying, like, what do I have to be grateful for can really helpful because then the things that you find that you’re grateful for might help you define what your values are.
Speaker B [00:17:28]:
Absolutely.
Speaker A [00:17:29]:
So if you’re like, I got this letter in the mail, and it said that I was gonna have, like, $200,000 in revenue from my food truck or whatever the thing is, and you look and you’re like, I haven’t even bought the
Speaker B [00:17:40]:
clock. Oh, I don’t even know how to make real cheese. Right.
Speaker A [00:17:43]:
Right. But you might say, but my family and I, we, you know, we remodeled the kitchen, and now that allows us to make really healthy meals for my kids. Sure. Cool. Okay. Or but I was able to have the flexibility to, like, take off and care for my mom she had that surgery
Speaker B [00:17:59]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:18:00]:
Or whatever the thing is, then that might help you realize, like, okay. You do know who you are. You’re just not paying attention because subconsciously, you’re already making these decisions.
Speaker B [00:18:10]:
Right. I I like to use words or talk to people that have these words. Like, I’m an entrepreneur. Mhmm. Or have I had this one. I’ll tell you a really quick story about a veterinarian that I had to deal with. Deal with not in a positive way. My dog had a little growth, so she got it removed because they didn’t know if it was, cancerous or whatever.
Speaker B [00:18:31]:
Turns out it was fine. It was malignant, whatever. But they wanted to schedule a meeting. The veterinary people wanted to schedule a meeting. So it was 6 months out. I had to wait 6 months To meet with this veterinarian about the results of what they found Oh, my god. And next steps. So my dog is 12.
Speaker B [00:18:49]:
She was well, Well, she was 12 at the time. She’s almost 13 now. So I’m meeting with this veterinarian, and this is me and this veterinarian in the room. And she says, based on the size clients of the thing, if it’s this size or smaller, we would do this. And if it’s this size or bigger, we would do this. And I said, you removed it. So you know what size it was. I don’t know what size it was.
Speaker A [00:19:14]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:19:14]:
You were the one in there with the scalpel 6 months ago. And she kinda that just went over her head. And she’s like, okay. Well, if we find these cells in this thing, we do this. And if we find these cells, we do this.
Speaker A [00:19:27]:
And you’re like, no. That already happened.
Speaker B [00:19:28]:
And I’m like, these aren’t variables that we don’t know. You know what you pulled out. You did the whole, I wanna say autopsy, but that’s not right. They did the whole Biopsy. Yeah. Biopsy. Thank you. You should have all these results.
Speaker B [00:19:42]:
Class getting so frustrated because it was one of those I had to wait 6 months for this meeting.
Speaker A [00:19:47]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:19:48]:
I’m paying you $300 or something for this meeting, and I’m getting nothing. So she’s like, I can tell you’re frustrated. Right? Because what she wanted to do, the it It was actually no. I’m remembering this. It was in her anal gland. So they wanted to dig in more because they weren’t sure because they don’t
Speaker A [00:20:06]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:20:06]:
Yeah. Whatever. So I’m like, well, if we dig in more, we’re gonna have the same conversation. You won’t know what you get. Right? I’m getting a lot of uncertainty from you. So why would I put my dog through that?
Speaker A [00:20:17]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:20:17]:
Right. Until you told me, there’s an anal the butt squeezing thing that they have to do with
Speaker A [00:20:22]:
dogs. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:20:23]:
And one of the technicians found this little bump. So before that, my dog was cool. Right? Running every morning. Everything’s cool. So before you told me that there was a problem, I didn’t know there was Yep. You told me there’s a problem. We went through and fixed it, and now you’re telling me that there might still be more of a problem, but there’s this risk versus reward. Right? Yeah.
Speaker B [00:20:44]:
Might be that your dog can’t hold the stool anymore. Well, that’s gonna be a problem. You’re right. So you’re telling me all this stuff based on stuff that you’re saying that you don’t know when you do know.
Speaker A [00:20:53]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:20:54]:
So but then in my head, I was thinking, a person selling screwdrivers is gonna sell you a screwdriver regardless of if you need a hammer or
Speaker A [00:21:01]:
Yeah?
Speaker B [00:21:02]:
So this is a surgeon trying to sell me on surgery.
Speaker A [00:21:05]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:21:06]:
So, anyway, she was trying to get me to agree to more surgery. And I was like, nah. Mhmm. Because risk versus reward. Right? Right? My dog is cool now, working cool now.
Speaker A [00:21:14]:
And 13 also.
Speaker B [00:21:15]:
Yeah. Yeah. And she’s like, So, anyways, I got up and I said, you know, thanks. I forget what her name was. Marie or something like that. And she’s like, oh, it’s doctor whatever. And I was like, clients
Speaker A [00:21:28]:
Not today.
Speaker B [00:21:28]:
Because she didn’t act like a doctor. Yeah. Because the doctor would have actually done their homework Right. And looked at the stuff somewhere in that 6 months Mhmm. To see what is the information about this specific client.
Speaker A [00:21:39]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:21:39]:
And I felt like she was just giving me data in, I don’t know, veterinary 101 class or something like that. So I was getting so angry because I waited so long. Like, we’re gonna get answers, and you pay so much money for this stuff. Like, the secretary could have told me this.
Speaker A [00:21:54]:
Well, what’s interesting about that, maybe your perspective is different. But, you know, when you look at from an outsider’s perspective, when you look at that, you’re like, has she lost who she is in this situation because she probably went into this to help people and, like, you know, dogs are our other children. Totally. Yeah. You look at this and you’re like, oh, I wanna help these people. I I really care about animals, whatever, where she didn’t show up in way. No. So when we lose who we are, Gail Hyatt, who’s the wife of Michael Hyatt, the training program that I did says, we lose our way when we lose our why.
Speaker A [00:22:27]:
Oh, interesting. That idea that, like, has she lost who she is and why she’s doing this, and now she’s just going through the motions?
Speaker B [00:22:34]:
Right. And so
Speaker A [00:22:34]:
a lot of us find ourselves in areas. Right? Like, I’m just going through the motions, and so it’s really hard for me to even decide where I wanna go or make any decisions because when we don’t remember why we got in it in the first place
Speaker B [00:22:45]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:22:45]:
Again, coming to back to the who you are and how do you figure that out. Once you have that, it’s so powerful. So if she would have been like, I’m doing this for this family. I’m doing this because I love dogs. She probably would have taken a minute Right. To look at that chart and know going in that this isn’t just, like, another meeting today.
Speaker B [00:23:03]:
Right. Just to check the box, ma’am. Check the
Speaker A [00:23:06]:
box. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:23:07]:
Yeah. It’s interesting because, she it was obvious to me that she felt insulted that I didn’t call her doctor. Mhmm. And it was interesting clients I thought, well, in my mind, doctors are highly educated and do this stuff to help people, or in this case, help us get better.
Speaker A [00:23:23]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:23:24]:
And she wasn’t that at all. Yeah. She took my money like a doctor. But she didn’t make the problem better.
Speaker A [00:23:31]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:23:32]:
Right? So it wasn’t Health care.
Speaker A [00:23:34]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:23:34]:
It was just I didn’t know what it was. It was a meeting. It was Yeah. Useless.
Speaker A [00:23:39]:
A really expensive meetings.
Speaker B [00:23:41]:
Very expensive. Let I mean, worse than useless meeting.
Speaker A [00:23:44]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:23:45]:
Because it was just I don’t know. I felt like you didn’t do your homework.
Speaker A [00:23:49]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:23:49]:
Right? I mean, I’m paying $300 or whatever it was for you not to do your homework? Are we past it?
Speaker A [00:23:55]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:23:55]:
If you’re a doctor, didn’t you have to do homework in college?
Speaker A [00:23:59]:
But okay. On on your side of this too, there’s a who you are and why you made the decision, you know, to have your dog have the, you you know, the spot removed to have a biopsy that to to spend the money to go in and do this. Right? Because there’s other people who certainly don’t value that. Mhmm. And I was talking someone god loved them the other day, but they’re not pet people. They said, like, oh, there’s coyotes outside, and sometimes we don’t like this dog, so we just let it out and think, like, if it comes back to and you’re like,
Speaker B [00:24:25]:
what? Really? Oh, wow.
Speaker A [00:24:26]:
But it’s not it’s not who they are. They’re farm people, whatever. This dog kinda showed up, but it’s like, oh, it’s old. So for me, that’s a red flag because that’s not who I am. But for them, it was very different. They valued different things. So Yeah. I think that there’s a lot in who we are by where we spend our money and where we put our time.
Speaker A [00:24:45]:
And so if we’re struggling to find out, well, who am I really? What do I really care about? That’s another great thing to look at is where am I spending my money?
Speaker B [00:24:53]:
Totally. You know? Yeah. It’s interesting you say that because I had I this is the 1st dog I’ve ever had. So we didn’t have dogs when I was a kid. So I remember hearing people families talk about their dog had to get surgery or whatever, and it was 1,000 of dollars.
Speaker A [00:25:06]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:25:07]:
And I was always thinking, you know, they there’s hundreds, thousands of dogs that need to be adopted, so just con a new one.
Speaker A [00:25:14]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:25:14]:
And then you get one, you’re like, oh, yeah. You can’t do that.
Speaker A [00:25:17]:
Right? Yeah. I remember the same. I we were we had some friends that had a lab and they did he tore his ACL or something and had a hip surgery or something. The lab was, like, 5. So you’re like, oh my gosh. That’s really that’s like a $5,000 surgery. That’s a really defensive surgery, but then you’re like, oh, but you’ve had that dog for 5 years, and that dog’s been around since your kids have been little.
Speaker B [00:25:39]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:25:39]:
And, like, you go through all these things you’re like, oh, that makes sense. But, yeah, sometimes you don’t know until you’re in it. No. Totally. Decision you would make. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:25:46]:
It’s interesting. My dad grew up on a farm. Okay. So to him, That our dog is an animal.
Speaker A [00:25:52]:
A dog. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:25:53]:
It’s equivalent to a squirrel. Mhmm. We’re like, no No interest in it. It’s just an animal. Whatever.
Speaker A [00:26:00]:
Yeah. It could
Speaker B [00:26:01]:
be hit by a bus. No care in the world. So it’s interesting. I’m like, that’s baby. I know.
Speaker A [00:26:07]:
Right? Well, especially if it’s young or older than your kids. It was your 1st baby.
Speaker B [00:26:11]:
Yeah. Yeah. She’s almost 13. Yeah. My kid’s 9. So
Speaker A [00:26:14]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:26:15]:
It’s crazy. It is crazy. But, yeah, here we are.
Speaker A [00:26:18]:
But here we are.
Speaker B [00:26:19]:
So
Speaker A [00:26:19]:
And, you know, knowing that about yourself then again helps you make decisions. Right? So you could have said, like, no. We’re not gonna do this. We’re just gonna let him let her lead the life she’s gonna lead. And Yeah. It
Speaker B [00:26:29]:
was one of those. It was a I think all said and done, it was probably $6,000.
Speaker A [00:26:34]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:26:35]:
And for a moment, you’re like, oh, that’s a lot of money. They’re like, well, you can’t take the money with you. I don’t wanna be the guy that just let my dog lead a crappy life or whatever. And we don’t even know. Maybe it would have been nothing. You don’t know.
Speaker A [00:26:47]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:26:48]:
Right? We were sold on something Mhmm. That I mean, I don’t I don’t know.
Speaker A [00:26:53]:
Yeah. Well, that’s that’s another really good point when you say you were sold on something. That’s what really good salespeople do is they they look at where your values are, and then they sell to the your value.
Speaker B [00:27:04]:
Totally. Yeah.
Speaker A [00:27:05]:
So if you know what your values are, it’s easier if you know who you are, it’s easier for you spot where you’re not aligned. Right. So if that doc was trying to sell you on, like, but you’ll get this dog to go marathon running with you. You’re like, I don’t care.
Speaker B [00:27:21]:
Yeah. You know?
Speaker A [00:27:21]:
Then you would have been like, yeah. That doesn’t matter because that’s not my value. But if you’re like, but you’re gonna get 5 more years with your kid
Speaker B [00:27:27]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:27:27]:
With this dog, you may be like, oh, fine. I’ll just charged me the $6. Yeah. You know?
Speaker B [00:27:32]:
Yeah. Something like that where this dog will have a better life. They’ll be whatever. They’ll live longer.
Speaker A [00:27:37]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:27:38]:
Or live longer and healthier. Yeah. You don’t want a dog that’s not doing well to live longer. Right.
Speaker A [00:27:44]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:27:45]:
So Yeah. Yeah. Interesting thing. But But then you look at all the stuff, I guess, people have, whether it’s pets or the vehicles that they have Right. Or the jobs where they’re working at, what do they consider themselves. It’d be interesting to to talk to people and just find out if they’re if they’re proud of themselves or Yeah. Where they’re at Right. Client With what they do or what they consider themselves or how they would answer it.
Speaker A [00:28:08]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:28:08]:
If somebody says, who are you? Mhmm. If they say I’m a dog Cancer cutter outer person.
Speaker A [00:28:15]:
Yeah. Right. If they say I’m a I’m a surgeon.
Speaker B [00:28:18]:
Yeah. Or I’m a vet Or I’m, I’m just a dude.
Speaker A [00:28:22]:
Right. Are you a small business owner, or are you someone who helps people grow their business? Yeah. Are you, you know, are you an accountant? Or are you someone who helps small business owners not have to look at their numbers? Right? We just talked about accounting for the
Speaker B [00:28:38]:
paper pusher.
Speaker A [00:28:38]:
Yeah. Right? So I think, yeah, I think ultimately how you define it is really enlightening too. And maybe it’s is time for you to have a moment where you ask this question and you meditate and reflect on it a little bit.
Speaker B [00:28:49]:
Yeah. You know, it’s interesting. I was hanging out with some clients are friends of my kid. There’s these young kids in our neighborhood that are his age, and I got a phone call. And clients hang up the phone call, and the kid’s like, what were you doing? Right, 9 year old kid. Yeah. And I was like, I was putting out fires. And she’s like, are clients firefighter? I’m so it was one of those,
Speaker A [00:29:12]:
like, oh. Very literal
Speaker B [00:29:14]:
interpretation. I’m not a firefighter.
Speaker A [00:29:15]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker B [00:29:16]:
She’s like, well, what were you doing putting out fires? And so, well, it was just a it’s a thing when you’re adult. It’s just an analogy
Speaker A [00:29:23]:
Yeah. Classes
Speaker B [00:29:24]:
for stopping problems from growing larger than they really need to be. And she’s like, oh, is that your business? And she just kept asking these questions. I was like, well, some days. Yeah. And she’s like, oh, is that when you’re a business owner? And her dad was right there, And her dad does not have his own business. He’s just some corporate something or other. And he’s like, no kind of thing. I could tell digging in his ego a little bit because he doesn’t have his own business.
Speaker B [00:29:51]:
I think that whatever. So it’s one of those, like, no. That’s just kind of a grown up thing.
Speaker A [00:29:56]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:29:56]:
Like how you guys have a sweet life. Mhmm. You get to play and go to school and have recess, and there’s always food and a shelter and all that kind of stuff. We get to deal with a bunch of stuffs that you have there. Yeah. But still, she was just, like, putting on fires.
Speaker A [00:30:11]:
Gotta appreciate the innocence though of a kid to really ask the question that gets like, that hits you at your core Yeah. And really makes
Speaker B [00:30:17]:
you feel nice. Felt like, oh my gosh. I am a firefighter. Yeah. I wanna be a firefighter. Clients Terrible place to be
Speaker A [00:30:26]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:30:26]:
When you’re not literally fighting fires. Even then, it’s probably challenging. But, yeah, it was tough because then I recognized myself as that, and I don’t wanna do that.
Speaker A [00:30:35]:
Well, so if you’re struggling with who you are, go ask a 9 year old how they interpret what you do, and maybe that’ll help you get some clarity, but we hope you found some ideas today on how to help you define who you are so you can make some decisions with how you spend your time, money and your life.
Speaker B [00:30:51]:
This has been Diary of a Worthy Pursuit.
Speaker A [00:30:53]:
Where we help you get what you truly want in life and in business.