How to Keep Your Cool

Podcast Transcript:

James [00:00:07]:

So I hired an employee the other day, which is good, right? Because as a business is growing, you need employees. But a funny story, this particular employee is a work from home employee. That means that I had to send her equipment. So I sent her about 15 worth of equipment. We’re talking monitors, computer, battery, backup, all that jazz, so that she can do her job and do it well on a fast computer that can just keep up with the life of business. Anyways, this employee gets this computer and all this stuff, and a funny thing happens. She doesn’t show up for work. She doesn’t answer any emails. She doesn’t answer any calls. She doesn’t answer any texts. She doesn’t answer any social media messages. She is ghosted in the ghosted sense of the 8th grader ghosting, whatever that is, right? But funny thing is, she’s over 50, which I didn’t even know that people over 50 knew how to ghost. But lo and behold, she’s ghosted. And at the current time, right now, this just happened last week, I’m still without this machine. And worse, I’m without that employee. Because as any business owner knows, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to find. Employees, interview them, hire them, all that jazz. So now I come at a crossroads not to figure out what am I going to do? Do I pursue legal action against this hired employee that never actually showed up to work? Or do I ignore it? Do I just move on and forget about it? Or do I find some road in between? What do I do? What would you do? So that is what we’re going to talk about today.

Jenna [00:01:35]:

Welcome to diary of a worthy pursuit.

James [00:01:38]:

How to get what you truly want in life and business.

Jenna [00:01:41]:

There’s so many things that happen in business and in life in general that really test our patience and really make sure that we can keep our cool. So that’s what we’re going to talk about. How do you keep your cool in situations like this?

James [00:01:54]:

Oh, it’s tough. It’s tough, but it’s interesting because my rule is that problems are a sign of life. And so this is a problem. So guess you’re alive, right?

Jenna [00:02:05]:

Well, and that’s fair because especially it’s 2023. We all went through this crazy year or two with 2020 and the pandemic hitting. And I think a lot of us were tested in that time. I showed up at Daycare on a Friday and Daycare said, okay, well, we’re going to be closed next week. We don’t know how that’s going to go. So you go from working. I had a full time job at the time and so did my husband. So we go from having childcare and working full time jobs to be like, cool. Now we have to take care of our six month old and two and a half year old while we’re both trying to work full time jobs. And how do you go get groceries and how do you do all these things and keep your family safe? And you’re like you could pull your hair out with it. And we were fortunate to have kept our jobs. There are so many people who had struggled with jobs and such, and that so not to beat that dead horse, but gosh, the past few years have been rough.

James [00:03:00]:

And from an employer side, employees that had to shift gears because they had to take care of other things or they realized they could just leave and get paid because the government was throwing money at people.

Jenna [00:03:10]:

Yeah.

James [00:03:11]:

The whole rent thing where your rent is covered and all this jazz, it left a lot of people. I felt like it was a discrepancy between the employer and the employees, where the employees lost a reason to work financially.

Jenna [00:03:27]:

Oh, interesting.

James [00:03:28]:

Because they said, I can lay on the couch and just ride this thing out and get paid. Sometimes even more because they had extra bonus on the unemployment and stuff like that.

Jenna [00:03:37]:

So there’s so many things that I mean, all of that was out of your control. And I think in life, when we look at this, there’s so very little that is within our control. And when things like this happen, you’re reminded sometimes it’s slapped at you that you don’t have as much control as you think you do.

James [00:03:53]:

Right. Yeah. It reminds you to appreciate what you have exactly. And to control what you can control and understand the difference.

Jenna [00:04:01]:

Right.

James [00:04:02]:

So it’s not the facts. Right. It’s your reaction to the facts. So in this case of the computer, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve been leaning towards just walking away. But on the flip side, part of me and I got to not watch mob movies before stuff like this happens, because part of me is like, you don’t want this to be a precedent.

Jenna [00:04:22]:

Yeah.

James [00:04:22]:

You don’t want this to be like, well, just go ahead and get a job with James. You get a free computer and then you don’t even have to show up and nothing happens. So you don’t want that. So it’s interesting. I have to be careful what movies your comedy I’m watching before you react or say something about this. Yeah.

Jenna [00:04:40]:

But you’re spot on in that word, reaction. We’ve probably all heard some version of this, but they say that 90% of life or 10% of life is what happens to you and 90% of life is how you react, how you respond to it. So I think we’ll be talking a little bit more about that.

James [00:04:57]:

Yeah. So the first one is, what is your goal? Which this I have to keep in mind, because I want to look at the long game and in the end, I’d like to treat business like a game. And there are rules and there are guidelines, but I feel like there’s a lot of people that are playing by their own rules and couldn’t care less about your rules. So from an ethical point of view, in the end, I don’t have control over that. So, long game. What is my goal? Five years, ten years, 20 years down the road. Right. Like, does this even matter? So it’s one of those things where you got to really think about that because then the significance of this problem diminishes greatly.

Jenna [00:05:36]:

Yeah.

James [00:05:36]:

Just like looking through a telescope at a planet, you think, oh, we are really just dust out here in a.

Jenna [00:05:45]:

Different way, just applying this to life. I don’t get road rage often. My goal is to just get my kids safely, talk about the goal from one place to another, especially if my kids are in the car. Like, I might be a little more aggressive if they’re not. Do you get road rage? I don’t often, but when someone cuts me off or does the thing where they drive on the shoulder to get around and just get one car ahead of me because they didn’t want to merge behind me or they pass me on the highway. And they can clearly see that there’s five cars and I’m car number five, but they’re going to pass me.

James [00:06:23]:

All right.

Jenna [00:06:23]:

And they’re going to pass the next person. They’re going to pass the next person. It’s like, what progress are you really making? But in those moments where I feel like I could get upset and I could get mad, I have to remind myself, okay, the goal is to get somewhere safely. So if that’s not his goal, fine. Like, me getting mad and getting upset here is only going to impact me and maybe my kids are the best.

James [00:06:43]:

I can’t imagine you mad at all.

Jenna [00:06:44]:

Oh my gosh. Only every once in a while. But that one where they like just little leapfrog over you, that one is a personal pet peeve highway on a local highway.

James [00:06:55]:

Yeah, I see that on the belt line all the time too, though.

Jenna [00:06:58]:

Oh, absolutely.

James [00:06:59]:

People use that extra lane when you’re not supposed to, just to pass, and then five minutes later, your few exits down, whatever, and they’re still maybe and.

Jenna [00:07:06]:

You see the car, three cars in front of you.

James [00:07:09]:

You went through all that?

Jenna [00:07:10]:

Absolutely.

James [00:07:11]:

And put everyone in danger for what? And if you would have saved five minutes or whatever, great. You save five minutes. Yeah, but you saved 3 seconds. I can catch up to you in seconds.

Jenna [00:07:24]:

Right.

James [00:07:24]:

So it’s interesting what people prioritize, and maybe they just get in that zone where they’re not thinking about what the goal is. They’re just like, I got to get.

Jenna [00:07:32]:

It, I’m late, I got to get somewhere. Right. So I also see this in parenting so often. So I have two boys, they’re three and five, and keeping my cool is a great goal for home. I mean, my ultimate goal is that I raise kids who are responsible, respectful, they’ve got integrity, they’re trustworthy. They’re going about the world in the right way. Right. But I also want them to know that they’re loved. And we have all these goals of how we want to raise our kids. But I have to check myself sometimes because they try my patients. Like, if I have to tell you a 53rd time to brush your teeth, I’m going to go crazy. Right. But I have to remind myself that they’re going to mirror what I do. So my goal is to show them how to respond. But sometimes I have to catch myself in the moment. And I’m not a yelling parent, but there are some days where you’re just like, can you just brush your teeth? Just put on your PJs. This happens in so many places in life.

James [00:08:36]:

All the time. All the time. The other thing we have is what is your purpose? And this I like to think of. Have you ever read the book? What is the book? Oh my gosh. Guy was a psychologist, went to Auschwitz.

Jenna [00:08:50]:

Eli Vazal, are you talking about him? Oh, no.

James [00:08:53]:

Oh my gosh.

Jenna [00:08:54]:

It’ll come to us.

James [00:08:54]:

All right. So anyways, it was interesting because his experience and he was smart enough and aware enough to realize this, that the people that thought that they were dead, they’re doomed, nothing good is going to happen. That this is the end. They end up either dying on their own or suicide or something like that, or just getting ill where the people that looked with hope and had like, once I get out of here, this is going to happen. And this guy’s point was he started to write the book in Auschwitz. It was one of those things like, my purpose is to realize and express that people have a purpose. And that when you have a purpose, you understand that these little problems, big problems you can deal with. Man search for meaning.

Jenna [00:09:41]:

There it is.

James [00:09:41]:

Victor Frankel.

Jenna [00:09:42]:

Thank you. Yeah, absolutely.

James [00:09:44]:

Great book. Semidepressing, but still it gives you an awareness and an appreciation for what you have.

Jenna [00:09:49]:

Yeah, it’s good perspective. I think, again, going back to when you’re really struggling in those moments, sometimes gratitude is the thing that best pulls you out of just being like, okay, well, what I’m going through right now sucks. But what’s one thing that I’m grateful that I have? What’s another thing? What do they call this? I was listening to some Marcus Aurelius and they call this negative visualization, I think. But it’s that idea of you looking at yourself from a higher level, right. And trying to see an out of body experience. How do you fit into life? How does this matter to you?

James [00:10:28]:

So outsider looking in.

Jenna [00:10:29]:

Yes.

James [00:10:30]:

If you’re watching a TV show of your life kind of thing, are you thinking that the person who is you are they cool? Do I respect them?

Jenna [00:10:37]:

Right?

James [00:10:38]:

Do I admire that character?

Jenna [00:10:39]:

Are they the punk that I’d be like, can you kick off the show already?

James [00:10:43]:

Somebody hit him with a bus.

Jenna [00:10:45]:

That’s why I can’t watch reality TV. Oh, my gosh. But this is, I think, so true, because when we lack purpose, it’s really hard for people to get out of bed in the morning. And I think this is one reason why we kind of start our own businesses, because we have this purpose of what we feel we could do, how we feel we could serve, whether it’s you create some product or you’re doing a service in some way, and that’s really what pulls us out of bed. But I think when you lose sight of that purpose, because it can get bogged down by so many of the other day to day things and running a business that you lose sight of the fact that, hey, I’m here to help people run a better business. I’m here to make sure that I’m here to answer the call so that business owner can run their business they want to and enjoy the part of their business that they love.

James [00:11:34]:

Right. Grow. And, you know, it’s interesting. The word that keeps coming to mind is earn. And speaking of parenting, there’s a lot of stuff my kid asked. I think with Easter, he’s like, do I get an Easter basket? Right? He was constantly asking, like, my birthday is coming up, right? Next time, it’s time for you guys to give me a gift. This is what I want. He just said that last week. And I’m like, buddy, you live your life like it’s almost your birthday every single day, right? Like, you got to understand that you have to earn something.

Jenna [00:12:06]:

Yeah.

James [00:12:06]:

So interesting thing happened. He wanted to go to that Mario movie, okay? So I said, you can go to the Mario movie, but you got to earn it. How are you going to earn it? And he’s like, I’ll clean the house. I’ll clean all the bathrooms, clean the floors and vacuum. And I’m like, yeah, you will.

Jenna [00:12:23]:

Yes.

James [00:12:24]:

So it didn’t take him 30 seconds.

Jenna [00:12:26]:

He’s already out there cleaning because he had a purpose.

James [00:12:29]:

He had a purpose, and he actually had to earn it. So there’s pride in that huge amount, which is interesting, because I feel like not everyone understands their purpose. Not everyone is aware that when you earn something, it’s not the work. It’s the fact that you earned the result of that work.

Jenna [00:12:44]:

Well, some of that is this idea of delayed gratification that I feel like we’re just not good at any terrible day. Oh, let me scan my social media so I can get that instant dopamine hit, when really, it’s that idea of, what can I do now to set up my future self for success? And we’re not great about delaying that, but when we have a purpose in mind, it’s a lot easier to do that. It’s funny that you say that, because my kids are in the same way. I’m like, well, you get presents at your birthday, but otherwise you have to buy anything that you want, so what are you going to do? So my three year old is learning to fold clothes because he wants to buy some snake toys. Oh, snakes. There’s so many snakes in my house. Not real ones, thank God. But there’s something also here about purpose and being like a single mother that I think is extremely interesting, and these people are heroes. But the idea that you are pushing having three jobs or whatever it is, because, you know, you’ve got to feed your kids, you got to keep them clothed and in a place that’s warm, that’s a purpose, and that keeps people going through working three jobs and going through hell, right?

James [00:13:53]:

Yeah.

Jenna [00:13:53]:

You don’t see many of them just rolling over, which I think is extremely interesting. That determination, that purpose really pushes through. So not that I’m wishing that on anyone, but that is really an example of using it to drive you.

James [00:14:07]:

I want it touches a little bit on helping other people get purpose as well. Kids or other people employees that you work with. I’ve found that if employees don’t understand why they’re doing a given job, they won’t do it as well. And I just had a conversation with one of my employees about the customer service stuff, because they’re like, we answer the phones. We schedule. What’s the big deal? What is the big deal? And I had asked her to do call audits for some of our other crew, okay? Not with the intention that we’ll catch somebody doing something wrong, but the intention that, one, you could catch them doing something right. And we can all learn some of it’s as simple as the likes. And, UMS and your nose and things like that, we want to get rid of. But the main one we’re going after is, how did that caller feel when they got off the phone?

Jenna [00:14:50]:

Yeah.

James [00:14:50]:

Were they like, I scheduled this thing, whatever, or were they like, that was one of the best phone calls I ever had. And from there, how does that make the rest of their day go? And so when I was talking to my employee about that, they’re like, what? And it kind of gave her an understanding of the power that she has from being the leader on the other end of the phone when the job is just like, answer the phone, schedule, and move on with your life. That’s one way to do it. But what if you had a higher calling and your job was to make that person enjoy the call and to make that person have a better day the rest of the day? You have that power because not everybody understands that they can control their emotions. So what if you did that and.

Jenna [00:15:33]:

The impact that you would have. I mean, there’s such an interesting ripple effect when you have a good experience like that.

James [00:15:39]:

And then it’s a game, which is way more fun than just a job, right?

Jenna [00:15:43]:

Exactly.

James [00:15:44]:

I used to work at a movie theater and we had the sales thing. So you try to get people into large drink because it’s only $0.25 more, whatever. And so what, I’m sure cost them a fraction of a penny, whatever, right. And I felt like I was doing a service to the consumer as well, because they’ve been standing in line for however long, right, because they’re going to see some big movie and there’s 50 million people in line. They’re going to spend probably their mortgage payments on popcorn and soda. So I figured, look, I’m going to try to get you the best value that I possibly can because you’re going to spend too much money anyways, I might as well help you with this.

Jenna [00:16:17]:

Yeah.

James [00:16:18]:

And I was always one of the, if not the best salesperson. And some people are like, other employees are like, why are you asking them? What’s the big deal?

Jenna [00:16:28]:

Right?

James [00:16:28]:

And to me, it was a game. I was still making 385 an hour. So it wasn’t like I was getting that money. It was one of those, like, I’m helping the consumer and I’m helping the company, and in the end I’m enjoying my job more. Right, because it was a game.

Jenna [00:16:46]:

Yeah, but ultimately it’s that idea of how do you people could lose their cool in a competition like that, but you found the higher purpose in it, which is cool.

James [00:16:54]:

It was interesting. Taught me a lot about sales. Another thing, what do we have here is doesn’t matter. And this comes down to that whole computer thing, right? Just one of those, like, in the end, am I going to be in my gravestone or my gravesite, whatever, being like, if only I did this right, if only I watched more Netflix, if only I chased after that computer, or if only I sued this person for whatever, or if only I XYZ. And it’s interesting because I can find myself going in a negative place when you look at this stuff. Like, I even just said last year, I take an ex client to court, it’s $15,000. It was a big nut.

Jenna [00:17:40]:

Yeah.

James [00:17:41]:

But I found myself just getting mad. And it was stuff that didn’t relate. I was getting upset about stuff that wasn’t related even to this whole court thing.

Jenna [00:17:49]:

Yeah.

James [00:17:50]:

So I’m like, even if you win, what is the detriment? Like, what is this causing you outside of this whole court thing in your life and your interactions with other people? So it’s challenging because on the one hand, I wanted to do the right thing and get justice, right?

Jenna [00:18:07]:

Right.

James [00:18:08]:

On the other hand, I realized, like, wait a second, this is costing me way more in other stuff. So maybe justice isn’t necessarily the answer here. I’m never going to see this person again.

Jenna [00:18:19]:

Well, and I think that’s really hard for us because we are kind of programmed to chase justice, right. To feel like something’s fair. My five year old says all the time that’s unfair. I get that that might be unfair, but is it worth all of the stress that you’re putting on your body by dwelling in the fact that it’s unfair? Sometimes life is not fair. I don’t know how you teach that to my five year old, but sometimes life is not fair. And I think as we get more seasoned in business, we realize that it’s reinforced we don’t have control. And so what of those things are we really going to put our mental energy into because we carry so much of this into other things, right. Like, I’d love to rewind to that point in your life and see what was the energy like around your family, around your parenting, in your other relationships with clients, or in your relationships with employees. Because we carry that with us, where we go, because we’re more stressed than we might have been. So if you were to whether you would have let it go or not, I wonder how it would have been different. We can’t relive life in parallel to see how it would be different. But I think it’s interesting because there are probably other areas of your life that were impacted right. By that.

James [00:19:38]:

No doubt. No doubt. Yeah. Negatively. Yeah. And even just from just the mindset that you’re in at the time, because you have this nagging thing behind you. And it’s interesting because you can just let it go, forget about it, walk away.

Jenna [00:19:53]:

Well, and that’s the idea of trying to be in this present moment. Right. Like, I can’t change what happened in the past because even a lot of us spend so much time there. Right. Like, you see the mental video replaying again and again of like, what would I have done differently? How could this have gone better? But in the end, you can’t change anything about that. The only thing that you can change is how you are reacting to that past situation. Or you can vow to say, hey, here in the present. I’m not going to allow said thing that happened in the past to affect me.

James [00:20:28]:

Right. Yeah. It’s interesting. I also keep in mind the cost of success.

Jenna [00:20:33]:

What does that mean?

James [00:20:34]:

Court thing? Let’s just say I’m successful. Okay, then what? How much time did that cost me?

Jenna [00:20:39]:

Yeah.

James [00:20:39]:

How much energy did it cost me? You can look at money, but money can always replace money. But a lot of it’s your mentality, what mood were you in throughout that whole thing?

Jenna [00:20:50]:

Yeah.

James [00:20:50]:

And just going like you can just spiral down.

Jenna [00:20:54]:

Yeah. Well and what kind of scar then do you carry as a business owner after going through that process?

James [00:20:57]:

Oh, it’s a good point.

Jenna [00:20:58]:

Yeah. What’s the chip on your shoulder moving forward, too? So, yeah, ultimately, does it matter? I think that’s a question that each of us needs to answer, because we need to understand what we’re going to stand for, what we’re willing to put up with, for lack of a better way to say it. But I think ultimately it’s that gauge of, like, will this matter in what is it, like, five weeks, five months? Five years.

James [00:21:22]:

Right. I like that. I remember talking to a client, and I was talking I gave her the you can either be right or rich with the thing, like, the right thing to do. The whole justice thing that we’re talking about is going down. Take them to court, win, chase the money, put the lien, whatever, all that stuff. But does that really accomplish your goal versus just being rich, where you’re just like, you know what? I’m not going to deal with that. We’re just going to walk away. You got your computer, you got your $15,000, whatever. Life goes on now. I can just move on, spend time more positively towards the goals that I’m trying to reach. Yeah, but that’s I would argue pretty strongly a constant struggle because there’s always something going on or somebody doing you wrong in some way, but you’re like.

Jenna [00:22:13]:

Well, it’s just a constant reminder to each of us, right. Because we have to continually remember, like, just be here, be right where we are now. Does this matter? And I think that this is an extremely valuable piece of advice.

James [00:22:26]:

What was another one? I heard it was a customer service thing where somebody was at a customer service counter and they’re trying to take something back and the person’s giving them a hard time. Right. Do you have a receipt? All this kind of stuff. And the person was going through some philosophical changes, the customer, and reminded themselves that it was something like she is me kind of thing. Like, if I grew up where she grew up, went through the experiences that she experienced, had, the siblings and the family that she had, I would be reacting the same way. The whole nature nurture thing, right. So I, with my experience and my education, whatever, personality, family, all that jazz, I’m reacting the way I’m reacting because of that. So in the end, we’re still human.

Jenna [00:23:13]:

Right.

James [00:23:13]:

And they’re presumably not malicious, right. You always have to assume good intent or positive intent.

Jenna [00:23:20]:

Right.

James [00:23:21]:

So it’s one of those just keep reminding, she is me, she is me, she is me. And then you can understand trying to get on a same plane. So it’s not a battle, not us versus them kind of thing. It’s challenging, not easy.

Jenna [00:23:34]:

It’s absolutely challenging. But I think it is a good reminder that, like, hey, at the end of the day, we’re all human. We’re all just trying to figure this thing out. At the end of the day, it’s just okay to leave someone with a little kindness, even if it doesn’t get you exactly where you need to be, which I think leads into our last point here really well is will it make the world a better place? So I think this is it’s hard sometimes to realize in the moment of, you know, how your reaction is going to impact the broader scale, but ultimately, this is a really big question. It comes back to that impact.

James [00:24:12]:

Yeah. I like to ask myself this question when I’m trying to make a decision and I say, what if everybody did this? Right? Let’s just say you have two decisions. On the rare times that you have two decisions or two options, you say, okay, if everybody did A, everybody in the world did A, what would happen? And then if everybody in the world did B, what would happen? And when you look at it at the extremes like that, with the goal of trying to make the world a better place, then it helps you understand, well, if everybody did A, oh, my girl, mass chaos, anarchy. But if everybody did B, we’d be pretty cool. Like, okay, well, let’s lean towards B. It helps you understand what is right for the goal that you have.

Jenna [00:24:56]:

Yeah.

James [00:24:57]:

Looking at the extremes.

Jenna [00:24:58]:

Yeah, I love that. And I think this is especially interesting when you, when you’re dealing with and and if you have a small team of employees. If you’re dealing with employees and you are sitting there trying to make decisions of like, do I keep this person or do I let them go? Right. If they have not kept their integrity, not lived into what you hire them to do, or they don’t show up for their first day, whatever it might be, you can easily want to lose your cool and just explode on what you feel like they should have done. And I think sometimes that that’s the biggest part of it, is like, I wouldn’t have done that in your situation. So it’s mostly like, no, I’m going to shove down your throat how I would have done it. But this whole idea of what will make the world a better place, when I am thinking about employees, I think of what’s going to make you live into your best intention. So I had an employee who was not living into her job description, and we finally made the decision to let her go. And I struggled with that so hard. She had a kid and all these things.

James [00:26:00]:

And so I felt, why to let her go or just her just to.

Jenna [00:26:04]:

Let her go in general, of the emotional toll of what it takes when someone loses a job.

James [00:26:09]:

Sure.

Jenna [00:26:09]:

Right. But then I had to remind myself releasing her from this job allows her to go find something that serves her better, that she’s a better fit for, that she’s going to be happier in because. She’s not happy here. So that decision, while hard, makes the world a better place because she can go off and serve her best potential, and we can find someone who clearly fits what we need them to do here.

James [00:26:30]:

Yeah, you have a fair point. I got fired from a job once, and it was the best thing that happened to me at the time. I thought it was not that great.

Jenna [00:26:39]:

Right.

James [00:26:39]:

I was so mad. But I kind of understood why. There’s a part of me that understood why, which I would imagine it would be very difficult for an employee that doesn’t get laid off unless the company is doing terrible, but then you’re part of that company anyways. You could probably trace back that we’re sitting in these chairs now because I got fired from the job. We’re always ready to be at that job forever. Yeah, crap pay and all.

Jenna [00:27:06]:

Well, it stretches your brain in places like that of what’s possible.

James [00:27:11]:

Right.

Jenna [00:27:12]:

So I think another opportunity here as an entrepreneur is we’re going through all the things that you try to do to build your business. I hate being ghosted, too. I had a discovery call set up with someone, and they fill out this form before they come. She gave me a little bit more information of what she was going through with a potential health coaching client. So she was struggling with some things and she didn’t show up. And I was like, oh, my gosh, here are all these things. I got real passionate. Here are all these things that I can do to help and all of that. But going back and emailing her and freaking out in that email no. Isn’t going to make her want to work with me. It’s also going to make her make the changes that she needs to make in her health to feel better and live a better life. So it’s one of those things where there’s so many of these here like, all right, my ultimate goal is I want to help people. But does this matter that she didn’t show up? They’ll probably be somebody else. And at the end of the day, is my angry email for her ghosting me going to make the world a better place? No. Absolutely not. So I think this is a really good framework to kind of walk through when you hit some of those moments in your business of, oh, my gosh, how do I handle this stress?

James [00:28:27]:

Interesting that you say that, because I always have to have something to say when it comes to something like that. There’s two tools that I’ve used that I’ll share. One is I have a stuck under their bus email, and I try to do a little tongue in cheek like, hey, you missed this, or you didn’t respond. So either I did something wrong and you just don’t know how to tell me, or you’re stuck under a bus if you’re stuck under a bus, just let me know, and I’ll bring a tow truck to help you out.

Jenna [00:28:57]:

I love that.

James [00:28:58]:

And usually I’ll get a response probably 75% of the time and be like, oh, I’m not stuck under a bus. XYZ. And then you move on.

Jenna [00:29:06]:

Yeah. But you get some closure.

James [00:29:08]:

I get some closure, yeah. And it’s kind of like, I have.

Jenna [00:29:11]:

Nothing to lose, right?

James [00:29:12]:

You’ve already ghosted or you’re not responded. So I’m just kind of having fun with yarn, like a cat with a ball of yarn. The other one that I have is the saying, I hope you find what you’re looking for. That is something that I can tell someone that I know that that translates to if you got hit by a bus, I really wouldn’t care. I think the world would be a better place. But I can’t say that. So I say something like, I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Jenna [00:29:39]:

Yeah.

James [00:29:39]:

And it’s one of those things that they I mean, as they read it probably are just like, oh, how positive and cool is that? But I know I really want them to hit.

Jenna [00:29:50]:

But it can be interpreted any way they want.

James [00:29:52]:

Totally. And if they were to show that to somebody can you believe this guy said this?

Jenna [00:29:56]:

Right?

James [00:29:56]:

He said he hopes I find what I’m looking for.

Jenna [00:29:59]:

How terrible.

James [00:30:02]:

But I have that translated in my head so that I can send that. And I feel like there’s closure on my end, and I got the little snicker snicker without the expense of bernie a bridge.

Jenna [00:30:14]:

Yeah. Well, I think you’ve shared a lot of good ways today for us to keep our cool, challenging things that can happen in business.

James [00:30:23]:

Yeah. So if it would be super cool if people would comment below and let us know what are some of the things that they’ve done negatively or positively.

Jenna [00:30:32]:

And if you found anything useful here, please feel free to share it so more people can benefit.

James [00:30:36]:

This has been Diary of a Worthy.

Jenna [00:30:38]:

Pursuit, where we help you get what you truly want in life and in business.

James [00:30:42]:

If you found this helpful, please share it like it subscribe. And most importantly, comment below because the dirty little stories there would probably be entered painting. Just so we know we’re not alone. Thank you much.

Jenna [00:30:54]:

Have a great one.

James [00:30:54]:

Bye. Our channel.