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How to Be Confident
Apr 20, 2023 •
James [00:00:06]: I’d like to tell you a story about a guy that wasn’t the most confident in the world at a moment with short cutoff jean shorts. So picture yourself let’s call it a weekend. In September, I’m in Wisconsin Dells at the Wazawa Festival, which is the end…
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James [00:00:06]:
I’d like to tell you a story about a guy that wasn’t the most confident in the world at a moment with short cutoff jean shorts. So picture yourself let’s call it a weekend. In September, I’m in Wisconsin Dells at the Wazawa Festival, which is the end of the season celebration there where they’ve beer tents everywhere, party, big time circus, all that jazz. Anyways, my buddy and I are at a campground, or we got a campground because then you can walk to the beer tents and party like you’re 23, even though we’re not. Somebody had a great idea ish that said that we should wear cutoff jean shorts and tight white T shirts when we go downtown because it’s kind of fun. You meet people, you have fun, have a little beer, and call it a night. Anyways, so my buddies decided that’s a great idea, and they head downtown well before I got to this campsite. So I get to the campsite and I talk to the neighbors next door, and they’re like, hey, you’re going to do it? And I’m like, where is everybody? And they said they’re already downtown. They went a couple of hours ago, which means that I have to get my little cutoff jean shorts and I have to walk downtown across a very long bridge alone. And I thought, that’s not ideal. And so I went through my head, what are the options that I have? I could drive downtown and then change in my car or something like that. I could skip the whole thing and just wear normal clothes, but then I would never live that down. But then I thought, you just got to own it. So I cut my jeans into the tight little shorts or whatever that they are. I don’t really wear them that often with little pockets showing. And I start walking downtown. And it was at that moment that I began to think that maybe there were some life choices that weren’t ideal. I’m walking across this long bridge, and if you know Wisconsin Dells, there’s a long bridge over that river. And during Wazawa or anytime in the summertime, there are lots of cars that go across that bridge, and they like to honk and yell outside their cars. And I got a lot of honking. I got a ton of honking. Interesting thing happens. There’s so many beer tents that I didn’t know where my buddies were. So I’m having to walk downtown, Wisconsin Dells across this bridge, getting hoots and hollers some interesting looks from old guys that were a little creepy. And anyways, I eventually find my buddies. And when I was with the group, it was fine. You’re just having a good time when you’re alone. It was interesting because I forced myself consciously to be confident because I saw that as really my only other option.
Jenna [00:02:40]:
Welcome to diary of a worthy pursuit.
James [00:02:43]:
How to get what you truly want in life and business and today we’re.
Jenna [00:02:48]:
Going to talk about how to be confident. What a story. To start with, I think it’s one so interesting that you owned it. You just strutted across that bridge. And I think there’s so many opportunities in life where we don’t have confidence. We go in being nervous about how is this going to go? And really, when you are confident, you just feel so much better about going into that situation. You could have crossed that bridge with all the nervousness in the world, but instead, if you carry yourself with this confidence, it’s like no one can see what’s going on on the inside.
James [00:03:25]:
Right? Yeah. It’s somewhat of a fake it. I don’t even want to say fake it till you make it, because in the end, it’s not like you made it across the end of the bridge. It’s more like just faking it to yourself to convince yourself internally, like, you got this and in the end, it’s just walking across the bridge, not the end of the world.
Jenna [00:03:42]:
Right. Though you probably will be that guy that people think of. Remember that one time we went on the Dell’s trip and we saw that guy? But as James and I were talking, we don’t think there’s many situations in which being confident isn’t a virtue.
James [00:03:58]:
Right. Yeah. I can’t think of anywhere you’d be benefited by not being confident.
Jenna [00:04:04]:
And there’s so many different situations where this applies. The ones that come to you immediately are things like a job interview, or if you’re a business owner or you’re a salesperson talking to a prospect. You really want to be confident in what you’re offering. Even just trying to talk to someone who might be a prospect for a relationship or trying to pick somebody up in a bar.
James [00:04:24]:
Absolutely.
Jenna [00:04:24]:
Confidence just gives you this feeling. I think that people are really more interested in talking to a confident person. Do you find that?
James [00:04:32]:
I do. I think people want to follow, and so it’s very easy. Let’s say you’re picking up someone at a bar or whatever. It’s very easy for them to say, I want to be led by this person, rather than if you come off and say, hey, I know you probably don’t want to, but and maybe probably not. Kind of saying, the person is not going to be like, this is the future. I can see my life magical.
Jenna [00:04:57]:
Right. Well, and there’s some wishywashiness, I think when you’re not confident totally just gives the wrong message. Whereas confidence, whether you have it or you’re just pretending that you have it, exudes that you know what you want and you’re going after it. And how many of us don’t want to portray that message to the world?
James [00:05:15]:
Yeah. Or even yourself? Fair I’ve talked to a lot of business owners, a lot of people that either didn’t know how to make a decision or had this internal struggle with a decision. And I was just listening to Earl Nightingale this morning. He talked about confident people make fast decisions, and they don’t change their mind very often because a lot of times in the end, when you’re making a decision, if you have to deliberate too much, there’s either probably not a good choice or probably not a bad choice. So just make a decision. Move on with your life, right? Yeah. I can tell you a really quick story. We’re at the Hibachi Grill place. They’re doing the thing with the onion volcano, spinning the egg on their hat. Anyways, they do this little thing with the broccoli where they launch it, and then you catch it, right? So in this table with, I don’t know, 912 people, whatever, and the guy’s, like, slipping his stuff, and he’s tossing the broccoli, and people are catching it, and then it comes to this woman’s turn, and she’s like, oh, I’m not sure. What kind of broccoli is it?
Jenna [00:06:21]:
Is there more than one kind of broccoli?
James [00:06:23]:
I don’t know. But she was so apprehensive. And the interesting thing is the guy didn’t care, right?
Jenna [00:06:27]:
Right.
James [00:06:28]:
The guy’s like, either you want the broccoli or you don’t want the broccoli. But I’m in the middle of a show here, right? I can’t have you pausing, because then it kind of threw him off his game.
Jenna [00:06:35]:
Yeah.
James [00:06:36]:
And I could read him, and I was just like, all this poor dude, right, because he’s got to do this 50 times a night or whatever, right. He just wants to move on to his life, show us a little good time, and it’s all said and done, but this lady was like, making a pro con list. Do I want this broccoli? So interesting, because I’m like, okay, you’re clearly not a confident person, at least in this context of broccoli. What is wrong with you?
Jenna [00:07:01]:
Well, but what I also think is interesting about that is that her lack of confidence threw someone else off their confidence. When we all try to carry ourselves as the kind of person that we want to be or the person that we see ourselves as being, and then to see someone else impact you in that way, if you’re going along your road, someone can still create a bump. Even if you are the most confident person in the world.
James [00:07:25]:
Right. And I think of the chef guy, like, he’s spinning knives and stuff like that. I feel like he’s got to have some confidence there to put on the show. I can’t imagine a timid person.
Jenna [00:07:34]:
You can’t be somewhere in between when you’re spinning knives.
James [00:07:36]:
No, you got to just own it.
Jenna [00:07:39]:
I love it. So today we’re going to talk about how to be confident. Let’s start first with asking better questions. James, how does this help us be more confident?
James [00:07:50]:
The short answer is I want to clarify this a little bit that we’re asking better questions internally as well as externally. So I had an employee that felt like things were not going her way. I’d say this is more on a personal side. And me being the boss, I didn’t want to really dig into the personal side, but I just figured I’d give her this little tip to help her. And a little tip is she was asking questions internally, which we always do. And she was asking questions like, why is this always happening to me? How is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Or questions even more specific to what’s going on. But the answer to that question cannot be a positive. Like, Why is this always happening to me? You can’t be like, oh, it’s not always happening to you, because that would be your brain countering what you said. So when she’s asking herself these questions, why is something negative happening to me? Her brain’s like, well, you’re moron. Or, yeah, you made bad life choices, or whatever. It’s answering the question.
Jenna [00:08:47]:
It’s a leading question, correct?
James [00:08:49]:
Yeah. The presupposition is always happening to you.
Jenna [00:08:52]:
Right.
James [00:08:52]:
So I told her, all you have to do is consciously ask a better question. How can I stop this from happening? How can I stop this from happening? And have fun in the process. Or ask a question where you know that the answer, any answer that you’d be giving would be positive towards what you want. And then a week later, she reaches out and she’s like, that was money. James perfect helped. And she had a hard time believing it was kind of funny. She had a very hard time putting in words like, that little tweak was enough to just change her outlook on tons of things, and it helped make her a better employee, which is cool.
Jenna [00:09:29]:
Bonus. One of the ones that I have heard that’s really nice is when you’re hearing something’s happening, life is headed down this bad direction, in your opinion, and you think, Why is this happening to me? But a podcaster that I love to listen to that talks about how is this happening for me?
James [00:09:48]:
For benefit.
Jenna [00:09:49]:
Yes. So it’s like that flip of, oh, I have to go do this thing. I have to go pick up my kids to I get to go pick up my kids. I have a scheduler. I get to go pick them up. So this whole idea of what’s happening to me versus what’s happening for me, I think, is huge, because it is implying that there is some good thing or some lesson in this that’s really helpful. And I think it leaves you looking for the positive.
James [00:10:17]:
Yeah. And expecting the positive. And I think a lot of people, a lot of confident people just expect good things to happen, right? They know that they will happen. And a negative person could say, like, how do you know what’s going to happen in the end? You don’t. But you’re relying on your conscious and your subconscious, making it happen. And if you run into a mistake or a bump or a little failure or whatever, you don’t sit back and sulk, you just keep going forward.
Jenna [00:10:46]:
So you’re a confident person, and you probably haven’t had to ride this in a while, but I know you coach people, business owners and your employees. So how does one actually make that change from being having these negative questions to having these positive questions? Because it’s one thing to know you should change the dialogue and another thing to actually catch yourself in it.
James [00:11:05]:
That’s very interesting question. So high school ish into beginning of college. I was a shy person, not a very confident person, and I don’t know what the switch was, but I do remember that it was somewhat of a moment where I just made a conscious decision that that behavior wasn’t serving me. And you would see confident people and you’re like, what do they have that I don’t? And I couldn’t come up with an answer. And so I’m like, I can be confident. And so you just make that switch. It’s a conscious decision. Or in my case, it was a conscious decision.
Jenna [00:11:42]:
Right.
James [00:11:43]:
I’m certain that there are people that just either naturally have it or they’ve learned at a younger age to have it. I was never into sports or anything like that, and I feel like a lot of confidence kind of follows people if they’re good at sports that way, because people are always you were kind of thing, stuff like that. But for me, it was definitely a conscious decision. And it was a moment. It wasn’t like, the next six weeks I’m going to work on being confident. It was just a light switch.
Jenna [00:12:10]:
Yeah.
James [00:12:11]:
And I do remember thinking like, that was easy.
Jenna [00:12:14]:
It was one of those yeah. So you made it as this bigger thing. It’s not a boulder, it’s a pebble. You just get to decide how hard you have to push.
James [00:12:24]:
Correct.
Jenna [00:12:24]:
There’s a program called Girls on the Run that teaches third through fifth graders. It gives them an opportunity to train for a five K, but it does a lot of character training and how to be a good friend and that sort of thing. But one of the tools that they have that’s really interesting to teach ten year olds how to catch this negative self talk is to create yourself a sound. So whatever your sound is, if it’s or what a buzz or something that’s going to catch yourself, when you see yourself having those thoughts, you say that sound out loud, and then it’s a trigger for you to flip the script to change the question.
James [00:13:04]:
Interesting.
Jenna [00:13:05]:
So the goal at first for these ten year olds isn’t necessarily to know what to change it to, it’s just to recognize the negativity, and then as they recognize it more, then they can start trying to change it.
James [00:13:16]:
It’s interesting when you learn stuff like that and you think, are we just pavlov’s dogs? And I think a lot of times to a point, you can be or you can train yourself to be because it’s that simple, right. Making a noise and you trained yourself to shift your mindset. That’s amazing.
Jenna [00:13:32]:
Well and if we can train that to these girls who are in third through fifth grade, why can’t we do that? We just need to get out of our own way.
James [00:13:41]:
We got to ask a better question.
Jenna [00:13:42]:
We need to ask a better question.
James [00:13:43]:
How can we?
Jenna [00:13:44]:
Exactly. Great point.
James [00:13:46]:
Yeah. And then going beyond that, asking better questions to people. Because when you’re asking someone a question, you want to ask them a question that presupposes the answer that you want. So it’s just little tweaks like that that help and will help get what you want.
Jenna [00:14:03]:
Well, I think sometimes each of us move so quickly in our lives that we don’t take that conscious extra second to form the question. So the one is how would we ask ourselves better questions? But two, we move so quickly can you just take one extra second to reform your question so you can get the positive result?
James [00:14:23]:
Right? And a lot of times little pauses will help make you seem confident or more confident. And those little pauses are where you can tweak the question. So I did some sales training and some of the sales training you see, is kind of cheesy. But one of the questions as an example is like should we schedule this for Monday or Tuesday? I’m not asking you do you want to schedule it?
Jenna [00:14:45]:
Right.
James [00:14:45]:
It presupposes that we are going to schedule something and I’m just giving you the options of Monday or Tuesday and if you don’t like Monday or Tuesday, you have to consciously think like, oh wait, I don’t want to buy this at all right kind of thing. So you presuppose at least a portion of the answer that you want and it helps accomplish a goal. I use the salespeople example or salesperson example, I should say, because in the end, if you’re going to be a good salesperson, you have to be confident.
Jenna [00:15:11]:
You have to be confident. Yeah. I love that.
James [00:15:14]:
Unless I guess, when I was a kid, what was that TV show with a detective that was always kind of bumbling and he was bumble and get what he wants. I can’t think of his name.
Jenna [00:15:24]:
Mr. McGoo.
James [00:15:24]:
Peter Falk was the actor. I can’t think of it. But it was interesting because he didn’t seem confident even though he was. And his thing was he would ask a suspect questions and the suspect is trusting this guy because he’s kind of like coming on nonchalant, not very confident. And then he would say like, okay, I appreciate your time and start walking out the door. And he always turned around and say one more thing and then he’d ask a question with a presupposition in it, and the suspect would be like, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, and essentially admit their guilt. So it’s interesting because now that I’m thinking about this, maybe there are times when you are confident, but if you come off a little less than confident that people will expose themselves to you a little bit.
Jenna [00:16:08]:
Maybe just police interrogators.
James [00:16:10]:
Yeah, right. Funny.
Jenna [00:16:13]:
All right, so our next piece of advice for how to be confident is to appreciate what you have. So this is something that a lot of sports psychologists really talk about. I guess I’ll start with I used to be a volleyball coach. I coached volleyball for almost ten years through club and high school, lots of different age groups, but I coached girls, and I don’t know why this is, but a lot of younger girls, high school girls, have an issue with confidence. And so as I was reading about how I can help these girls really try to come into their own and be confident in this way, one of the things that sports psychologists recommend is to think back to a time when you actually accomplished what you’re going for. So if I had a girl, for example, who felt like she kept serving into the net and kept missing all of her serves, what we would say was okay, before you go up to that line, I want you to visualize a time where you did make it over the net, and then you step up and you do it again. Because you can have confidence in that. You have done it in the past, and you can appreciate that you were able to.
James [00:17:18]:
Nice.
Jenna [00:17:18]:
How has this helped you in confidence?
James [00:17:21]:
Oh, man. When I’m teaching or when I was back, when in person classes were more of a thing, I was teaching business planning classes. I would have people say they had homework. It was eight week course, six week course, something like that. And they would have to go online and fill in little sections of their business plan. So this is talk about the management, which is usually them, or talk about their finances, marketing, business plan stuff. And every day it was just a simple fill in, this little section. Right? So initially it seemed like business plan, all the cow, it’s overwhelming, right? Little section at a time, little chunk at a time, no big deal. This woman comes to me and she’s like, I didn’t do my homework. I’m like, okay, why didn’t you do your homework? Because in the end, you’re starting your business anyway. She’s like, I didn’t have Internet. I’m like, what do you mean you didn’t have Internet? There are libraries, there are coffee shops. Maybe for whatever reason, your home Internet wasn’t working, but your cell phone Internet wasn’t working.
Jenna [00:18:21]:
This is not the day and age to not have Internet.
James [00:18:23]:
Yeah. And it was one of those, like, my my car broke down, and I’m like, you’re stretching because if you want it, you can get it. And it’s one of those, like, you have all of this opportunity. Right. The class was essentially free. I was volunteering my time. There’s all these other people around her that are supporting her. There’s the software that was provided for the business planning class. We’re in a building where it’s snowing outside, and you have heat comfort. Like, your comfort is never in question. There’s so many things that she had as far as opportunity. And I’m like, we took you to the 99 yard line. We’re asking you to go that extra 3ft, and the defense isn’t paying attention. And you’re like, Math, I’m busy.
Jenna [00:19:10]:
Right?
James [00:19:11]:
I don’t have Internet.
Jenna [00:19:13]:
That’s so interesting because I think you calling that to her attention. I wonder if she had noticed that before, because I think some people, based on how we’re raised or whatever, we just don’t have this gratitude bone or practice built, so it’s harder for us to see what we do have. And I think that it’s one of the best things we can do when we come up to a hurdle in something so right. Like, in that she had a hurdle of finishing her homework, but she wanted to start a business. That’s some of the best times to have gratitude. It’s because you think, hey, this is hard, but look at all the other things I have to be grateful for. So why won’t I just push that little extra? Why won’t I just try to act in this way? Because look at all the things I have going for me. Why not me? I think sometimes is a question. You, why is this happening to me? Well, why not me? Why shouldn’t something good happen to me?
James [00:20:03]:
I think it’s a better question. Interesting, because the answer to that would be, this is Why not you?
Jenna [00:20:08]:
Yeah.
James [00:20:08]:
So you have to ask a better question, like, how can I make this happen? What do I need to do at this moment to make this happen?
Jenna [00:20:13]:
Do you see this live coaching that we’re getting right here for free?
James [00:20:18]:
I’ll give you another example from the same class.
Jenna [00:20:20]:
Okay.
James [00:20:21]:
This woman is all excited about her business plan, and she makes homemade business cards.
Jenna [00:20:26]:
Okay.
James [00:20:27]:
Like, that kind of the perforation stuff. Like that inkjet printer.
Jenna [00:20:30]:
Yeah.
James [00:20:30]:
And it’s funny because you’re saying, like, OOH. But I’m like, no, I guess I.
Jenna [00:20:34]:
Was thinking, like, metal perforated business cards. No, you’re thinking, like the kind you run through.
James [00:20:38]:
Yeah. She spent $10 at Office Depot or whatever and got the little cheesy ones where you can see the little perforation line.
Jenna [00:20:43]:
Sure.
James [00:20:44]:
And what she was selling was somewhat of a higher value product.
Jenna [00:20:48]:
Okay.
James [00:20:49]:
I’m like, okay, if you go to Tiffany’s to buy a ring and you don’t buy the ring, but the jeweler salesperson there says, here’s my card. Give me a call. And that card has perforations on it. What is your first thought about that? Doesn’t matter how nice the jewelry is. Doesn’t matter how nice the store is. As soon as you see that, no, I’ll go to Walmart or wherever, sells jewelry, I don’t know, cheaply. So I’m, like, throw those away. And I could tell that I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn’t have said it like that. But it’s one of those, like, you have to exude confidence in yourself. And what she was telling herself, what I believe that she was telling herself there was that she wasn’t worth her business. Like that was a temporary thing. Yeah, that was the kind of business card you get for a lemonade stand. That is not the kind of business card you get for a business.
Jenna [00:21:41]:
Right?
James [00:21:42]:
And I’m like, if you go to Office Depot, the same place or wherever you bought those little perforated cards for maybe $5 more, you can get real, printed, legitimate business cards. And she was not the type of person to take criticism like that greatly. And I kind of understand because she put a lot of time in this, designing the business cards and stuff like that. But I’m like, you got to believe that when you hand out those business cards that you have the confidence that people should do business with you. You expect them to do business with you because they should appreciate the opportunity to do business with you. And if you don’t believe it because you got these perforated business cards, right, are they going to believe it? And I could see it kind of twist in her head, like, he’s right kind of thing. And sometimes I don’t like being right in these cases because she was starting to tear up. And I’m like, Come on.
Jenna [00:22:37]:
Well, but it’s a good lesson for people to learn. And I think that this is another reason why confidence is so important, especially if you’re an entrepreneur or a business owner, is because there’s a certain level of trust that comes when you have confidence. So you think about those situations. If I’m working at Tiffany’s and I hand you a very nice, classy card, there’s more trust in that than handing you something homemade. We don’t want to buy what am I looking for? I don’t want to be sold. I want to buy the thing that I want. So if I feel like I’m being sold, then I have less trust. But if I feel like you are listening to me and explaining your product in a way that hits my needs, you’re exuding confidence, and I am more confident in you, which leads to more trust. And I think that trust is this underlying foundation of a lot of what happens in business and in life. But if you think to the people in your life who are confident and the people in your life that maybe waffle a little bit, I wonder what the scale is in relation to the trust.
James [00:23:43]:
Oh, interesting.
Jenna [00:23:45]:
So do you trust more of those people who are confident in your life than those who waffle? And I would say, yeah, because those people who waffle a little bit, you don’t know if they’re going to show up. You don’t know if you can count on them.
James [00:23:54]:
Yeah, well, think of con man, that’s confidence man.
Jenna [00:23:58]:
Right.
James [00:23:59]:
Which they’re not. Like, hey, let’s trick these people by being really wishy washy. You’re not confident. When people are confident, you totally want to follow them.
Jenna [00:24:09]:
Well, it’s so interesting. My husband loves Audible books, and we were listening to one from Malcolm Gladwell about people who are people who are good at catching people in a lie versus others who aren’t. But there was this journalist who was tipped off to the fact that Bernie Madoff might be a Ponzi scheme. So this journalist goes and interviews Bernie Madoff and he’s like, he was so disarming and so confident, and I dropped the story after that. So the confidence built trust, and then this guy dropped this huge thing and then probably would have been the story of his lifetime. He uncovered it instead. Someone else did. But again, how far did not that I’m saying go be like Bernie, but how far did confidence get him in his life?
James [00:24:57]:
It’s interesting, Bernie’s story. I don’t know if you know a lot of the story, but he was a multimillionaire before he did the Ponzi scheme.
Jenna [00:25:04]:
Oh, I had no idea.
James [00:25:05]:
He was very successful business guy, and it’s one of those things where he wanted more, even though he had what could very strongly be argued plenty or even beyond what he could ever even spend. Money was a way to keep score. And he kind of reached the point where I need to find next level, and this is next level, but super successful guy before that.
Jenna [00:25:27]:
He was loved.
James [00:25:29]:
Loved, and he just had overstepped his bounds a bit.
Jenna [00:25:34]:
Right. There goes that. Gratitude comes back again. We got to be grateful for what we have. All right, so our final step for you in how to be confident is to act as if you already have it. There’s this book that talks about your future self, and so picturing the kind of person that you want to be and then acting as if you’re already that person because otherwise you’re not going to work your way up to it. You almost have to try and fail to be confident to kind of build that muscle.
James [00:26:03]:
Sure, yeah. There was a YouTube video I watched where a guy is talking about intentionally getting rejected 100 times.
Jenna [00:26:10]:
Oh, wow.
James [00:26:11]:
So he would go to a coffee shop and he’d be like, can I have that for half price? Or asking questions where he expected to get rejected just to train himself to toughen that muscle. And he might have had a Ted Talk. It was interesting because he said, I didn’t get rejected as much as. I thought I would. And so then he’s like, I have to go ask someone else to get to my 100.
Jenna [00:26:35]:
Right.
James [00:26:35]:
But it’s interesting how he just had to force himself to go for rejection, and in doing so, he built up his confidence. Another thing is the whole body language, the stance right. The Wonder Woman stance right. Or how you shake hands, all that jazz that are little tweaks that you make these conscious tweaks. You can subconsciously build your own confidence.
Jenna [00:26:54]:
Well, isn’t there something about the President wearing a certain color that’s trust? Like blue is this color of trust. And so you’ll often see the President wearing like, a navy blue suit or a blue tie or a blue suit with a red tie because he’s putting off this portrayal of power and trust. But even with women, I went to the Athena Awards last night here in Madison, which is a celebration of professional women serving the community and doing good things for the empowerment of other women. And it was interesting because as I watch all of these professional headshots come up, you could kind of read the confidence in each of them. This one woman showed up. She looks super confident. She’s wearing a red power suit. And it’s just so interesting because you could tell that that was a deliberate decision. Not that she’s not a confident person anyway. I know her. But she’s giving herself the tools. So confidence feels easier because she’s creating an environment in which confidence comes easy.
James [00:27:52]:
Interesting. I suppose you don’t see the President in a pink polka dot suit.
Jenna [00:27:57]:
I don’t know how much trust that builds.
James [00:28:00]:
Interesting.
Jenna [00:28:01]:
Yeah.
James [00:28:01]:
So, yeah, it’s funny because you wonder even the clothes people wear or just the way that they carry themselves. It’s interesting how some people could probably get away with a polka dot suit.
Jenna [00:28:12]:
Fair.
James [00:28:12]:
And because they have that confidence, like jean shorts. I don’t want to do that again.
Jenna [00:28:19]:
But now you have the confidence to pull it off.
James [00:28:22]:
Yeah. In that case, it would have to be forced.
Jenna [00:28:25]:
Well, here you were acting as if you had the confidence because you had to strut and do it anyway. I think that’s some of it, too, is we tend to dread some of these things that we know we should do to grow our business. But we dread it when, again, I’ll pull back this idea. Someone told me the other day that thing is really only a pebble, but you’re making it a boulder because you don’t have the confidence. You feel like you’re going to fail. So you need to go through and do that thing anyway for your business. You might as well be confident because you’re going to have to do it regardless.
James [00:28:58]:
Yeah. Imagine if the anticipation is worse than the actual event.
Jenna [00:29:02]:
Right.
James [00:29:03]:
So just like when you’re going off that roller coaster and then 20 seconds.
Jenna [00:29:07]:
Later the ride’s done, I imagine that’s like jumping out of a plane. Not ever want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, but I imagine that that’s what it would be like.
James [00:29:14]:
I bet. Cool.
Jenna [00:29:16]:
All right, so today we’ve given you three tools that you can use to be more confident.
James [00:29:22]:
Sweet. So this is diary of worthy pursuit. How to get what you truly want in life and business. Close.