How to Navigate the Messy Middle
Welcome back to another episode of “Diary of a Worthy Pursuit,” the podcast that dives deep into the challenges and triumphs of pursuing our goals and dreams. In today’s episode, we’re tackling a topic that many of us can relate to: how to navigate the messy middle. We’ll explore the power of communication in relationships, shifting our perspective to overcome fear, and the importance of acknowledging small wins along the way. Join our hosts, Speaker A and Speaker B, as they share personal stories, practical tips, and insights on staying motivated and focused even when the end seems out of sight. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and get ready to dive into the messy middle with us on this episode of “Diary of a Worthy Pursuit.”
Podcast Transcription:
Speaker A [00:00:06]:
So it’s 7:30 on a bright sunny summer morning in Wisconsin, and I am beat. I am running a 12 mile loop as I am training for a half marathon. It was a goal of mine to get back in shape after I’d had kiddo, and this was going to be my longest run before the race, which was maybe 2 or 3 weeks before we were going. And I couldn’t turn back because It was a loop. I live in the country in the middle of nowhere, so it’s not like I can just walk around the block and go back home and check out. The bugs were biting. I was sweating because it was hot and muggy because, you know, we get those here in Wisconsin. And I was just done.
Speaker A [00:00:50]:
And I couldn’t, you know, I couldn’t fast forward my way, but I really couldn’t see the way home either. It’s Really hilly out here, it turns out. And so the, viewpoint is just not there. So I was stuck in this this messy middle, and I couldn’t turn around. And it felt like where I was going was too far away. So I just had to take a moment, put on my big girl panties, and realize that it’s okay. I am built to do hard things, and I’ve done hard things before. But Navigating the mental game of this messy middle was really a struggle for me.
Speaker A [00:01:26]:
And even when I got closer to that finish line, I, I struggled to really push past. So that’s what we’re gonna talk about today, how to navigate those really hard times in the middle where you can’t see the end and you can’t I can’t turn back.
Speaker B [00:01:41]:
Welcome to Diary of a Worthy Pursuit.
Speaker A [00:01:43]:
Where we talk about how to get what you truly want in life and in business.
Speaker B [00:01:47]:
So when you what point in the run was this happening? Was it 6 miles or was this
Speaker A [00:01:52]:
I think it was probably more like 7 or 8. It was a mile too. Right? Because at the beginning, you’ve got your your pre workout drink in you. You’re just excited for this day. Mhmm. And you also don’t have that sweat going. Right?
Speaker B [00:02:03]:
Yeah. Sure.
Speaker A [00:02:03]:
The bugs aren’t biting you yet because you’re not sweaty and smelly yet. So it was it was pretty good at the beginning. You know, I think like a lot of goals. You start and you’ve got all this momentum and excitement that really carries you through, but then you get halfway and you’re like, what did I get myself into?
Speaker B [00:02:18]:
So when you’re running, you’re running out in the country. Mhmm. Did you map out on the Earth or maps or something like that? But you didn’t know necessarily where you were in relation? Like, Is this mile 5, or is this mile 7?
Speaker A [00:02:30]:
I had a Garmin on my watch or I had my watch on, so I knew that I was, you know, 7 or 8 miles in, and I knew how far I had to go. Right? Which is a great point because in life, you don’t always know
Speaker B [00:02:40]:
No. May I have
Speaker A [00:02:40]:
to go? You are or where you’re going. And I think that that is really insightful. Right? At least for me, when it’s a distance. I can measure it. But for so many of us, it’s hard because we we wanna quit when it’s Just the next call or the next decision or, like, the success that we’re waiting for is right around the corner. We’re closer than we think.
Speaker B [00:02:59]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:03:00]:
And we have a depth perception problem.
Speaker B [00:03:02]:
Right. You You know, it’s interesting because I had I had a few employees leave all well, over the course of a month A few years ago. And I remember a day feeling like, you know what? We could just be done. Mhmm. That the people just Yeah. Hanging up. And It was interesting just having that feeling because I thought that’s dumb. Right? I mean, I can understand it.
Speaker B [00:03:27]:
Like, you’re having this, devil angel kind of thing. Yeah. Like, party was thinking, okay. If you walk away, what would you do? Mhmm. And then what would you tell everyone? And And then what would you tell yourself?
Speaker A [00:03:39]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:03:40]:
Like, remember the time you gave up kinda thing? And it’s interesting because it wasn’t more than 2 days. We get some new employees. We get some new clients or whatever, and just you’re back in a growth mode.
Speaker A [00:03:52]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:03:53]:
And I was thinking 2 days ago or whatever it was Mhmm. I would have never thought that it would feel good. I thought this was gonna take months. It didn’t take months. It took days. But it’s interesting because at that moment, you’re like, woah. I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world with Jupiter thrown on top just for the vision. And you get yourself like, okay.
Speaker B [00:04:11]:
Just push through. A little bit longer, and then you find your stride back again. But it’s interesting To have that just like, what do I do?
Speaker A [00:04:21]:
It’s Well and it really comes it’s this whole mental game. Right?
Speaker B [00:04:25]:
It it’s moment again.
Speaker A [00:04:26]:
Because if you looked at it rationally, you would know that I’m taking the process taking the steps and on the process of what I need to do to hit this goal. Hopefully, you’re doing that. But it’s the the mental piece where you really get caught up. You know? So Another piece of this training is that the mental game when I actually hit the race was a struggle for me because I didn’t I hadn’t prepared. I’d had that one hard run, but I hadn’t prepared mentally for what it was gonna be when I hit mile 10 and wanted to stop and when I hit mile 12 and wanted stop in the race, but then actually had moments in the race itself. We’re running it with some friends, and I’m I’m not cleaning because it was Napa to Sonoma. So at the end, there was wine waiting for me. So it was really not that rough.
Speaker B [00:05:11]:
Suffer through it.
Speaker A [00:05:12]:
Yeah. Right? But I remember I was walking at mile 12, and my girlfriend, who I’d kinda gassed at mile 4, came running past like, the whole tortoise versus the hare situation. Right?
Speaker B [00:05:24]:
She Sure.
Speaker A [00:05:25]:
Came up past me, and she’s like, are you okay? What’s going on? I’m like, on fuel ride. I had all these stories in my head and all these excuses of why I slowed down. And she’s like, you can do this. This is, you You know, stop with your excuses. This is a choice. Mhmm. And it’s like, oh, that’s good. You know, how can I replace the excuses that I have for I am stuck where I am to creating intentional choices about how I’m gonna move forward? Right.
Speaker A [00:05:51]:
And that was a big game changer in mindset for me.
Speaker B [00:05:54]:
So then you’re just like, I hate that you’re right.
Speaker A [00:05:56]:
I hate that you’re right, and I’m gonna run with you, but this sucks.
Speaker B [00:06:00]:
You know, I I don’t remember if I told this story before. I did a half marathon.
Speaker A [00:06:03]:
Okay.
Speaker B [00:06:04]:
And it was not my greatest moment, and it was not the greatest. There was no wine. I think there was beer at the end, but we did it in, I wanna say it was fall.
Speaker A [00:06:15]:
Okay.
Speaker B [00:06:16]:
And it was just a gravel trail. That’s normal bike trail. Mhmm. And it was down and back. Oh. So there was no scenery because everything was kinda dead and gross, and there’s it was old train tracks. There’s just kinda slimy swamp and stuff like that. So So there wasn’t like, oh my gosh.
Speaker B [00:06:32]:
This is majestic. It was like, oh,
Speaker A [00:06:34]:
that stinks. It smells swampy here.
Speaker B [00:06:36]:
But I remember I’m running, And it was about mile 4, and I didn’t train. So that was mistake number 1. About mile 4, my Brain or I’m sorry. My body decided to beat my brain, and my body said, you’re walking. And since maybe step 10, My brain was like, we can keep going. My body’s like, nah.
Speaker A [00:07:01]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:07:01]:
And so there’s this battle. Right? Right. But you still keep running. Mile 4, I just start walking. Instantly, about 10 people around me start walking. Nobody has started walking before. Yeah. But I was in this crowd, and I was like, I felt so bad.
Speaker B [00:07:17]:
Yeah. Oh my gosh. I just gave them figurative permission to start walking.
Speaker A [00:07:22]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:07:22]:
So then you’re like, okay. At that tree, you start running again. I did. Start running again. Anyways, mile, I don’t know. 6 or something like that. I start seeing the people running past
Speaker A [00:07:35]:
Oh, yeah.
Speaker B [00:07:36]:
Coming back.
Speaker A [00:07:36]:
Uh-huh. I’m like, What? Right.
Speaker B [00:07:39]:
I know for sure I wasn’t even halfway not even relatively close to halfway. And these guys are just, you know, with their Crazy running gear Yeah. From there, I don’t know, khakis or whatever. But it was interesting thinking, like, just looking at their focus and their mindset And the fact that they probably weighed a £100 less than I did, it was interesting thinking like, oh my gosh. They’re I guess, would that be mile 12 coming back? So almost done. Yeah. I’m not even halfway, and they barely look like they’re winded.
Speaker A [00:08:10]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:08:11]:
It seemed like it was practice for them doing a marathon or ultra marathon. So you’re like, ugh. You gotta push through.
Speaker A [00:08:18]:
Well, it’s, what I like about what you’re saying though is that you’re you’re kind of checking your input, good or bad, and surveying the scene around you. Right? So one of those things that I when we get stuck in this messy middle and we don’t feel like there’s a way forward, but we don’t wanna quit, is just see what you’re surrounding yourself with. You know, we we take in a lot of things. Do you watch the news? Do you follow social media and you’re getting a lot of negative messaging? Do you surround yourself with people who say, it’s okay to quit. That’s alright. You don’t need to really do this thing. And I think that that is so So huge because to your point, we have impact to others around us and and so do they. You know? I think it’s so interesting.
Speaker A [00:08:57]:
When I was on my health journey 3, 4 years ago, I joined these Facebook groups of people who had the same, like, semi same diagnosis struggling with digestive issues, and I would join 1, and I just see these stories come sob story after sob story. And I would comment on some of them and be like, You know? Hey. I can relate to this. I do the you know? I have had this experience, but also here’s what I’m doing and here’s what’s working for me. And all I would get I’m back with shade. Things like, I’ve tried that. That doesn’t work. Or, oh, maybe, but nothing seems to be working me.
Speaker A [00:09:33]:
I feel like I’ve tried everything. And finally, I had to quit those groups because I said Oh. My goal is not to be defined by this health issue.
Speaker B [00:09:43]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:09:44]:
And everyone else here is happy with that.
Speaker B [00:09:46]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:09:46]:
And so I can’t surround myself with people like that because that’s not the future I want for myself.
Speaker B [00:09:51]:
So they wanted to own the I am sick versus Right. I’m getting better.
Speaker A [00:09:56]:
Yes.
Speaker B [00:09:56]:
So interesting. Very interesting.
Speaker A [00:09:58]:
And so I think A social media audit in general, I think, is really great when you find yourself stuck in these moments or you find yourself with that negative self talk of really like, what am I saying to myself? And then how was that influenced by what’s going on around me?
Speaker B [00:10:12]:
Mhmm. Interesting. Iron Man was just here.
Speaker A [00:10:14]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:10:15]:
And I heard some people that were saying similar things like, oh my gosh. These guys are crazy For doing that.
Speaker A [00:10:19]:
Right. And I
Speaker B [00:10:20]:
thought, are they crazy? I mean, my half marathon, I was like, yeah. Yep. There’s a little bit of insanity there. Yeah. But on the flip side, there’s a There’s a benefit to doing something that’s essentially you versus you. Yeah. And pushing yourself And knowing that what you believe is your best, you can do better than that.
Speaker A [00:10:40]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:10:41]:
So and I was also thinking, How do they practice for that? Right? You ran 12 miles, practiced for a half marathon. I don’t know what practicing for an Ironman looks like. It’s gotta be a full time job.
Speaker A [00:10:51]:
So turns out my husband has done twice.
Speaker B [00:10:53]:
Oh, nice. Okay.
Speaker A [00:10:54]:
And, it was pretty much a full time job. Okay. And now he won’t be doing it until our kids are older because he did it before we had kids. But it was Absolutely a thing where you you wake up and you do a 2 hour workout in the morning or you go for a swim, and then you, you know, you bike home from work or you do a 2 hour and you’re basically gone on the weekends doing long workouts. And so at that point, it was fine because I had my workaholic tendencies. Cool. You go to college and work out, and I’ll work the weekend.
Speaker B [00:11:19]:
On this house. Their addictions.
Speaker A [00:11:20]:
Yeah. Exactly. But what I think is interesting about that is that for my husband. The secret to his success was finding a group of people who were crazy enough to do this to surround himself with so he could Look at what was possible and level up. Oh, nice. Okay. So interesting that you really do need to kind of recruit a tribe of people
Speaker B [00:11:43]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:11:44]:
That are chasing the same things you are because you’re only going to push yourself to the level of the folks that you surround yourself with.
Speaker B [00:11:51]:
Totally. Totally.
Speaker A [00:11:52]:
So Yeah.
Speaker B [00:11:53]:
You become the average. Right?
Speaker A [00:11:54]:
Right. Exactly. So if he didn’t have people around him to reach toward, it would just been like, maybe he’ll walk the marathon at the end. Like, that’s a that’s a long way without doing the other 2 things. Mhmm. But, he found a tribe. He found a coach, and it really helped him through it. I mean, He crushed it, but he’s one of those that, like, could do a half marathon and break a PR without training.
Speaker B [00:12:15]:
So Wow. Okay.
Speaker A [00:12:16]:
It’s just ridiculous.
Speaker B [00:12:17]:
Good for him.
Speaker A [00:12:18]:
Yeah. I wish I wish we were all blessed with that. Hopefully, my kids get that.
Speaker B [00:12:21]:
Yeah. Right? That’s interesting. Yeah. The surrounding yourself with a good tribe is huge deal. Yeah. I found myself even when you tell people you’re starting a business, they’re like, oh my gosh. Why would you do that?
Speaker A [00:12:31]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:12:31]:
Or you start working out Or whatever Mhmm. Where you have the people that you’re surrounding yourself with, and they’re like, just 1 more ice cream cone or whatever it is.
Speaker A [00:12:41]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:12:42]:
And it’s tough to not fall into the trap of whatever it is your crew is doing.
Speaker A [00:12:46]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:12:46]:
So you just wanna make sure you have a good crew.
Speaker A [00:12:48]:
So I when I started my business last year, I didn’t have entrepreneurs around me, and I noticed that. I said it’s not that I don’t wanna continue to have the friendships that I have. These people are great. They stretch me in other ways, but I don’t have good business besties.
Speaker B [00:13:03]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:13:03]:
And so I joined a couple different groups, and I kind of had coffee with a couple people and was kind of, like, interviewing friends, I felt like. Oh, I get it. Totally. That idea of who’s chasing the same thing I am and who’s gonna push me. And now I have this group of 5 girlfriends. We meet once a month. One of them Is a social media person, and so she is very into catchy titles. So we have the empower her connect.
Speaker A [00:13:28]:
Oh, wow. Her connect, and we get together once a month, and we talk about, like, what were your wins last month? What are you stretching for? What can we look for for each other? And then we just support each other. So if it’s like a, Hey. I have this event coming up. Will you just promote it for me? Or, hey. I’m trying this new content, this new product, and I just need someone when to test it out and give me some feedback while you check it out. Like, it’s been so helpful because then like, I was sharing with you. I had a big win last week.
Speaker A [00:13:55]:
I was Able to secure a stage, a a pretty big speaking stage for me. I was super excited. That’s how I wanna grow my business. One of the first things I did was send a message to these business besties and share that win because it’s like, they will understand this win more than other people around me. Not that the other people around won’t be happy, but they’ll understand the weight of this win.
Speaker B [00:14:17]:
And appreciate it.
Speaker A [00:14:18]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:14:19]:
Instead of just saying that’s great. What else you got?
Speaker A [00:14:21]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:14:21]:
Exactly. The show on Netflix. Yeah. No. I totally understand. It’s interesting you say that interviewing friends because I didn’t realize that I’ve been doing that. And then I have done that when I started the business of its time, but you’re totally true.
Speaker A [00:14:34]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:14:34]:
Totally true. Because the conversations that you have with people that aren’t in that entrepreneurial space It’s different. Not bad.
Speaker A [00:14:41]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:14:41]:
I mean but oftentimes, not necessarily good in where your head is or what you wanna focus on or what you wanna learn. Yeah.
Speaker A [00:14:48]:
Yeah. Totally still. The the pace of how you chase life and what you do in your free time Mhmm. Is also very different. Right? Like, if I have, and this, you could probably say, is not a strength. But if I’m driving somewhere, I don’t just sit in silence. I know that there’s a lot of power to that, but I wanna be taking in next thing. What can I be learning? What can be driving my my business further? And there’s other people who don’t do that.
Speaker A [00:15:11]:
You know? There’s you do it in different ways.
Speaker B [00:15:13]:
So I just think it’s interesting that if you are constantly
Speaker A [00:15:13]:
growing, it’s helpful to thing that if you are constantly growing, it’s helpful to surround yourself with people who are growing Mhmm. Who get it and can support you even when you stumble.
Speaker B [00:15:23]:
Yeah. I do both ways. Interesting. So I drive my little Tesla. Yep. And Tesla, there’s little I’m gonna call it an advertisement just because I feel like it is.
Speaker A [00:15:33]:
So you
Speaker B [00:15:33]:
gotta pay a month or they want you to pay a monthly nut Mhmm. For something. I don’t know. Internet or something like that. Right? So but But you can also plug in a little USB jump drive
Speaker A [00:15:44]:
Okay.
Speaker B [00:15:44]:
With tunes or podcasts and stuff like that on it. Okay. So I’ll have this little podcast thing cruising. Right? I’m listening to my stuff, Getting myself all better, and you get in the car, and it doesn’t always I haven’t figured out the pattern, but it doesn’t always go back to what you’re listening to. It says, hey. You don’t have your premium subscription.
Speaker A [00:16:02]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:16:03]:
And so I’ll just drive in silence, kinda stewing a little bit because, Like, I know I don’t have the premium subscription. I know because I didn’t pay, and I have no interest in
Speaker A [00:16:11]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:16:11]:
Paying a monthly knot. Right? No interest. I want a car. But But then after I get over the stewing, I’m like, you know what? This is kind of forced silence. And I could push the screen buttons, whatever, to get whatever on Up on there for music or podcast, whatever. But sometimes I choose as being silent.
Speaker A [00:16:28]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:16:29]:
And it’s kinda cool. It is Not for hours.
Speaker A [00:16:32]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:16:33]:
But but for, whatever, 10 minutes, something like that. Yeah. And I also it reminds me of, I used to drive truck for a Napa
Speaker A [00:16:42]:
Okay.
Speaker B [00:16:42]:
Delivering parts way back in my high school days. And the guy The owner this is one of those things where you’re learning lessons that I didn’t realize that I was learning at the time. Mhmm. He was business owner. He owned a few Nappas, whatever. To me, he was just he was the man.
Speaker A [00:16:57]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:16:57]:
Right. He’s just the guy. He’s the boss, man. So right? Anyways, he comes out and he’s like, hey. Every once in a while, just Turn the radio off and listen to the truck. And I’m like, oh, okay. You know, it makes sense. And, the reason that he said that is because one of the other drivers is driving around with a flat tire for the better part of an afternoon.
Speaker B [00:17:18]:
Oh, no. They didn’t know. Yeah. He’s oblivious to the steering change. He had the radio turned up, so he didn’t hear the bloo, you know, all the noise. Right. And so that guy, you could argue, cost To the owner, a new tire and delay because the truck was out of business or out of service for that day. And at the time, I was like, But then I did what he said, and it was kind of interesting because it then you kinda get a feel for okay.
Speaker B [00:17:43]:
I believe the vehicle’s running well now. So this is what a vehicle that’s operating well sounds like.
Speaker A [00:17:49]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:17:49]:
And so when anything like a bearing would go out, you hear squeaky brakes or something like that, You were aware of that noise. Mhmm. So it’s kinda interesting that way that you’re just aware of what it should be Yeah. Versus what It is if it’s not going right.
Speaker A [00:18:05]:
Well, like that, we make so many comparisons to cars, but I love that because We all
Speaker B [00:18:10]:
have them.
Speaker A [00:18:11]:
It’s really important to to take that silence on the flip side of my podcast listening to see what’s going on in your own head. Right? If you are navigating this messy middle, you can really get some trash talk going. Right? Right? So when I was in that run, I was like, this is so far. I’m never gonna be able to do this. Those sorts of things. Right? And so when you recognize well, if you don’t take a pause and just pay attention to what’s running through your mind. You don’t really recognize that that’s negative.
Speaker B [00:18:37]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:18:38]:
So then you don’t have the opportunity to flip it. So one of the things that’s really helped me when I get in the messy middle is just having some kind of mantra. And, well, first, expecting that the messy middle is going to happen
Speaker B [00:18:49]:
Sure.
Speaker A [00:18:50]:
No matter what. There’s no way
Speaker B [00:18:51]:
it’s going to.
Speaker A [00:18:52]:
Yeah. Nothing’s gonna be nothing worth accomplishing is easy. This entrepreneurship thing is not easy. No. But expecting that something’s going to happen, and you’re gonna figure it out.
Speaker B [00:19:02]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:19:02]:
But then having a mantra that you can go back to. So after that day, What well, what got me through that day was that I can do hard things. I’ve done hard things before. Like, I birthed a baby. I can run 12 miles. Right? Like, I carried a baby for 9 months. I can do this. And so it’s just that.
Speaker A [00:19:22]:
How do you build confidence? What can you say to yourself when you’re at your lowest point that is is going to be meaningful. Right? So for me, it was I can do hard things, and, you know, I’d repeat it to myself in different ways. Like the, you got this. So you got this.
Speaker B [00:19:36]:
Oh, yeah.
Speaker A [00:19:36]:
But, also, it’s the what’s gonna speak to you, in those moments?
Speaker B [00:19:42]:
Interesting. You know, you remind me of the little train, the little engine in the car. And I remember reading that to my kid, And I’m saying we’re gonna change that. It is not I think I can. It’s I know I can.
Speaker A [00:19:53]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:19:53]:
I know I can. I know instead of I think I can.
Speaker A [00:19:56]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:19:56]:
Right. I’m pretty sure.
Speaker A [00:19:58]:
Yeah. Oh, you gotta be
Speaker B [00:19:59]:
confident Right. That you can to get you up that hill and all that jazz. Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:20:03]:
So I
Speaker B [00:20:03]:
totally get that.
Speaker A [00:20:04]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:20:04]:
But it’s yeah. Huge mental game.
Speaker A [00:20:06]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:20:07]:
But that’s it’s also a game.
Speaker A [00:20:09]:
It is a game.
Speaker B [00:20:09]:
You treat it like a game?
Speaker A [00:20:11]:
Yeah. If you look at it in that Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:20:12]:
You
Speaker A [00:20:13]:
know, there’s some people who don’t have the, I guess, the what am I looking for? Not the blessing, the privilege. When When you’re in a tight spot Mhmm. And maybe you’re single and this is your business is your only source of income. Not that a lot I just wanna have a fallback anyway. But Right. It feels like there’s more pressure. But one of the revelations that I had once with a business coach which was but who’s putting that pressure on you? Oh. You know? Is that really external pressure? Like, yeah.
Speaker A [00:20:41]:
Sure. I need to pay my rent or whatever the thing is. But who’s putting the financial pressure on you. Because if it’s you, then you are also the one who has the power to relieve that.
Speaker B [00:20:50]:
Mhmm. Yeah. Puts you in a place of control to a point.
Speaker A [00:20:54]:
Right. At least of influence.
Speaker B [00:20:56]:
Right. It’s building your own prison kind of
Speaker A [00:20:58]:
thing Yeah.
Speaker B [00:20:59]:
Or building your own goals or keeping yourself hungry, you could say.
Speaker A [00:21:02]:
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:21:03]:
Because not Necessarily a bad thing to have pressure.
Speaker A [00:21:06]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:21:06]:
Right? It’s how diamonds are formed, so that’s cool. And it’s
Speaker A [00:21:09]:
Well and that’s that could be another great mantra. Right? Pressure’s how diamonds are formed. On.
Speaker B [00:21:13]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:21:14]:
But I think this idea of then so let’s say you can’t break yourself out of it Mhmm. And you find yourself in a funk, like your 2 day funk Mhmm. Then You if you’re surrounding yourself with the right people, but maybe you’re not seeing them anytime soon, maybe you just don’t wanna admit the fact that you’re struggling. Mhmm. Right? I think if you surround yourself with the right people, they understand that they’re struggle, but maybe it’s new or maybe you don’t have those people. Sometimes you just need to ask on help.
Speaker B [00:21:39]:
So, fair. Totally fair. Yeah. Asking so reaching out to your crew.
Speaker A [00:21:43]:
Is that what you’re saying? Reaching out to your crew or even if you have a partner or friend, and just be like, hey. I know that you’re not a business owner, but I’m struggling right now. And here’s what I’m struggling with. So I just need you to listen, and I need you to tell me that I can do this. Oh. Or I need you to you know, whatever you need in that moment. And maybe if it’s a good you don’t need to tell them what you need, but sometimes there’s this YouTube video that’s but it’s not about the nail where this woman is sitting there. She’s got a nail out of her head, and she’s complaining to her husband.
Speaker A [00:22:11]:
And he would be like, well, just take the nail out. And she’s like, it’s not about the nail. She just wanted to vent, and he wanted to fix it.
Speaker B [00:22:17]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:22:17]:
I feel like a lot of relationships. Oh, chips.
Speaker B [00:22:19]:
Oh, yeah.
Speaker A [00:22:19]:
Anyway but in that moment, it’s helpful to say, I just need you to listen, or I do need to help you. Have you helped me brainstorm How to get out of this? What can I do differently? But sometimes we just need a little encouragement to break ourselves out of a funk.
Speaker B [00:22:32]:
Totally. Yeah. I think it’s okay to give yourself Permission for a moment Yeah. To say that you’re in a funk, but there’s a quote that I just heard, and I don’t know. I heard it From, I wanna say, Tony Robbins, but I don’t necessarily know that he was the one that originated it. Probably goes back to Jim Rohn or something like that. He said if you follow The trail of someone’s stress, you’ll find their biggest fear.
Speaker A [00:22:55]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:22:55]:
So if you start writing down what are you worried about, what are your concerns, what what are your challenges
Speaker A [00:23:00]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:23:00]:
Your issues, your struggles, and you keep asking yourself why. Like, I feel like my business won’t be successful. Why? What does that mean?
Speaker A [00:23:08]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:23:09]:
And you keep going down, and you’ll end up learning about what is the big thing that you’re really concerned with Mhmm. Or what is the big thing looming over your head. Yeah. And a lot of times, it just comes down to something like you won’t feel loved
Speaker A [00:23:20]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:23:21]:
Or you won’t feel appreciated. You won’t feel like you’re enough. And you’re like, you’re putting All that pressure on you and trying to solve it with something that may or may not be able to solve it.
Speaker A [00:23:31]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:23:31]:
On the end, if you change your perspective just a little tiny bit, You can remove that fear, and then it gives you more freedom to do what you wanna do.
Speaker A [00:23:40]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:23:40]:
Change the goal.
Speaker A [00:23:41]:
I think that’s what we’re all about. And sometimes we lose sight of that in these struggles and in these messy middles, we’re really chasing big goals. I mean, we all set really big goals for our businesses, hopefully. We lose sight of the fact that we started this business to have more on freedom in some way, shape, or form. Financial time, not working for the man, whatever it is. And when we take a step back and realize how far we’ve I talk about this a lot, but it’s one of my favorite books, The Gap versus the Gain of being like, when you find yourself stuck in the middle, we so often look forward to how far we have to go that we don’t look back and see how much progress we’ve actually
Speaker B [00:24:16]:
made. Alright.
Speaker A [00:24:18]:
And so Then it’s a lot easier to acknowledge, like, holy crap. Look at all these things I have done. Like, look how how far I have come. There’s a a really interesting practice. I think I told you I was part of this fearless summer camp that my friend Kate ran.
Speaker B [00:24:31]:
Yep.
Speaker A [00:24:32]:
And one of the things that she encouraged was this idea of acknowledging what you on no matter how big or small. Like, yes, clearly, we need to move some big rocks and boulders. But if you feel like you’re not making progress and you feel like you’re even acknowledging the little things is so helpful because we so often focus on where we need to go that we don’t acknowledge the things that we did even if they weren’t big.
Speaker B [00:24:54]:
Sure.
Speaker A [00:24:54]:
You know? So if I was having a crappy day earlier this week, I could have written down written down things like, you know, today, I sent out a marketing email. And to me, that’s not a big deal because I’m a marketer. But, hey, it’s a big deal because that was moving my business forward. Mhmm. Or you know what? Today, I didn’t pick up work until 9 AM because I did morning drop off or I did these other things, and that aligns with my values. So I think just writing acknowledging first what you are doing and then writing it down. There’s something about how it hits you mentally and how you process it that It even internalizes it more.
Speaker B [00:25:29]:
Yeah. It’s interesting you say the morning drop off thing is you didn’t start work until 9, but you had the freedom to do morning drop off.
Speaker A [00:25:35]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:25:36]:
It wasn’t I have to start work at 7 or something like that.
Speaker A [00:25:39]:
Right. So you
Speaker B [00:25:39]:
had a little bit of elbow room for freedom, which is the whole goal
Speaker A [00:25:43]:
Right. Or at
Speaker B [00:25:43]:
least a big chunk of it. Right?
Speaker A [00:25:45]:
Yeah. Well and that comes back to what we’ve talked about in other podcast is just keeping the high level goal in mind. Like, why are you doing this? Why did you set such a big goal? And it’s really the fact that you you got into this business for a reason.
Speaker B [00:25:56]:
Yeah. I have a quote in my office that says appreciate the opportunity.
Speaker A [00:26:00]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:26:00]:
Because because a lot of times you’re given stuff, and you’re like, oh, right?
Speaker A [00:26:04]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:26:05]:
And you understand, like, what had to happen for that opportunity to present itself?
Speaker A [00:26:09]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:26:10]:
There’s a lot of stars that had to align for all that to happen, and you’re just gonna be like,
Speaker A [00:26:16]:
It’s not a big deal.
Speaker B [00:26:17]:
Yeah. Really?
Speaker A [00:26:18]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:26:18]:
I was trying to tell my kids that he had a soccer game or soccer tournament this weekend, and he was he was in a funk. He was tired, because he played a lot of games. And it’s one of those, like, buddy, do you know what all had to happen? Just look around. I don’t know. There’s 20 fields, I think, something like that. Soccer fields.
Speaker A [00:26:34]:
Yeah.
Speaker B [00:26:34]:
Just think of the 1 person that has to mow all that. And then think of all the people that had to paint the lines, the concession people that had to make sure that they All the stuff. The referees that have to run around game after game after game chasing you guys around. And then think of all the parking in the cars, the things that had to happen for people to have those vehicles. And the weekends that were sacrificed. Right? People go on vacation or anything. They went to watch all these kids’ soccer games. And all that had to happen For you to be in this 1 game, and you’re whiny.
Speaker A [00:27:05]:
Well, I mean, perspective is a hard thing to teach a 9 year old or a 13 year old or whatever.
Speaker B [00:27:10]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:27:11]:
But I think the the piece of that, though, that is so helpful, it just comes back to this idea of how are you positioning it? Like, I have the I have the opportunity to have the time freedom.
Speaker B [00:27:22]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:27:22]:
You know? Do I have to go drop my kids off, or do I get to go and my kids off?
Speaker B [00:27:26]:
Have to versus get to.
Speaker A [00:27:27]:
Yeah. And I think that sometimes the more we pay attention to that wording, the more we can kind of not trick ourselves, but catch ourselves. And
Speaker B [00:27:34]:
There’s a line.
Speaker A [00:27:35]:
And rewire it.
Speaker B [00:27:36]:
Yeah. Because I think the the reason. Right? They’re understanding that This is an opportunity. It’s not a curse.
Speaker A [00:27:43]:
Mhmm. Right. Well, hopefully, it’s an opportunity if you you wanted to start this business. So, hopefully, you are you wanna be. Or
Speaker B [00:27:49]:
has this kid or it’s just
Speaker A [00:27:50]:
Oh, you’re reaching. Right. Exactly. But I think at the end of the day, the good thing to know is that we’re all gonna hit this messy middle, and you can do hard things. You’ve done hard things in the past, and so you can do it again. And if you need a little encouragement, then go find it.
Speaker B [00:28:06]:
That sounds perfect. This has been Diary of A Worthy Pursuit.
Speaker A [00:28:10]:
Where we talk about how to get what you truly want in life and in business.