How To Focus on Now
Welcome to another episode of “Diary of a Worthy Pursuit!” In today’s episode, we delve into the topic of “How to Focus on Now.” We all know the feeling of being easily distracted by various tasks, but what happens when the priority is serving our clients? Join us as we explore the importance of being fully present, switching hats in different situations, and being emotionally prepared for challenges. We’ll also discuss the power of taking a breath before reacting, the importance of empathy, aligning time with values, and simplifying processes to increase productivity. Get ready for insightful anecdotes, practical tips, and real-life examples that will help you stay focused and achieve meaningful results. So, let’s embark on this journey together and learn how to navigate the wonderful world of being present in the moment!
Podcast Transcription:
Speaker A [00:00:06]:
So business is booming. It’s actually going really well, which for most business owners is a good thing. But for those that are really in business and understand what that means, it means that life is a little bit chaotic. See, in the past, I would say a week, we’ve added about 3 new clients. We’ve added 2 additional employees to help with those clients, which means that there are people that need to get trained, there’s Equipment flying around, and there are essentially new clients and employees that need to be babysat and organized systems in place, all that jazz. So it’s a lot to keep track of and a lot of balls to keep up in the air. So I end up on the phone with one of our new clients trying to sort out their phone systems that the calls could come to us for us to answer their phones. And it was very interesting because in my mind, I knew that my email inbox was filling up faster than I could answer it.
Speaker A [00:00:53]:
My phone was vibrating in my pocket, but I had to just erase that and ignore all of that stuff and focus on the task at hand, which at that moment was helping that woman get that phone system to work and do what we wanted it to do. It would have been very easy, and in fact, she had some problems because she had a 5 year old kid running around in background that was distracting her a little bit was very it would have been very easy to get off my focus, and it would Been a very long and probably what you would consider a past client. But I wanted to keep this client happy like we all do, and I wanted to keep me happy and sane. And so I did everything I could to focus and just took care of her and her phone system. So as of today, things are going well, Yay.
Speaker B [00:01:36]:
Welcome to Diary of a Worthy Pursuit.
Speaker A [00:01:37]:
How to get what you truly want in life and business.
Speaker B [00:01:40]:
And today, we’re gonna talk about how to focus On now.
Speaker A [00:01:44]:
Right now.
Speaker B [00:01:44]:
Oh my gosh. You know, it’s it’s interesting. We talk about all these different things going on in life. And in that moment, it would have really Been easy to let your brain go in the 50,000,000 different things that you needed to do. But clearly, the client and what was going on was the most important. So Yeah. Yes. Tell me what went through your brain when you’re sitting there and trying to navigate this.
Speaker A [00:02:06]:
The So the end, I guess, what I focus on is I’m trying to help this person as much as I can. And the one thing, there’s a little bit of selfishness there because I want them to be a client. On the flip side, she was lost. She’d never been in their phone system before. I had never been in that type of phone system, but I knew the nomenclature. So I figured there’s no one shy of tech support at her cable company or whatever, which is probably not gonna help her at all. So So it’s one of those, like, you gotta pretend that you’re the hero at the moment so that that client can be the hero for their customers.
Speaker B [00:02:39]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:02:40]:
So you just gotta focus on that.
Speaker B [00:02:42]:
I also think that we’ve all been programmed in a terrible way that when you have 10,000,000 things going on, multitasking is the way you get them done. And I think that we’ve learned now and research is telling us, like, the human brain cannot focus on more than one thing because we can’t do any one thing well. I know in the past when I bought into that fallacy, I would start 15 seeing things that never complete any of them or I would never do them really well. So Mhmm. I think it’s really cool that you focused first on the client because that experience is gonna be so great for that Client. They’re gonna be the kind that will refer more back because you were able to focus and really help them.
Speaker A [00:03:15]:
It was interesting because I’m talking with her, and I’m thinking, how Any companies, our competition, how many would do this?
Speaker B [00:03:23]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:03:23]:
Tolerate it. Mhmm. And part of me I say that because we had an employee that sent their lead employee that didn’t know any better. Right? She’s experienced in the field, but not necessarily in the logistics of phone systems. She sent an email that just said, fix your phone system. Mhmm. It said it a little bit nicer than that, but it was more or less, this is your problem.
Speaker B [00:03:44]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:03:45]:
And I was like, woah. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Speaker A [00:03:47]:
No. No. No. Because the customer’s gonna say, no. It’s not.
Speaker B [00:03:51]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:03:52]:
We can just take a walk or whatever. Something other than this being our problem.
Speaker B [00:03:56]:
Right. Well and I think I’ve even found in business that Even if that wouldn’t have been a client and you were trying to help them navigate it on the front end, I see this a lot with people who they’re either thinking about becoming a client and you do, like, a needs analysis or you’re talking to somebody. You’re like, I don’t even know if I need what you do, and you have a conversation. I have more trust in the people who are willing to hold my Hand and tell me what I don’t know
Speaker A [00:04:19]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:04:20]:
Than those who are like, you’re not ready for me. Just move on. You know? Because when I am ready, I’m gonna come back to those people who Took the time and had the patience to really help me through that process.
Speaker A [00:04:29]:
Right. And, you know, in the end, I guess, now that I’m thinking about this, they’re problem solvers. Yeah. So regardless of if they know how to solve that problem exactly, like, oh, I’ve done this 50,000,000 times. Mhmm. Or they’re just like, let’s solve it. We’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out together, but they’re willing.
Speaker B [00:04:44]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:04:44]:
I think there’s an advantage to that because not too many people are willing to do that.
Speaker B [00:04:48]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:04:48]:
Right. Or even know how or has a drive, whatever.
Speaker B [00:04:51]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:04:51]:
But, yeah, it’s interesting.
Speaker B [00:04:53]:
Well, and I think what is interesting too is as we look back and just look at life, There are so many other places than just business where this applies. So my kindergartner just started playing soccer. Oh, nice. I volunteered to be an assistant Coach, I know nothing about soccer. We didn’t have it in my small town, but I said, I can help Rangel 5 year olds. And I have a co coach who’s my neighbor. She’s like, I will teach soccer. Cool.
Speaker B [00:05:13]:
I can make sure that no one runs off and loses their ball. Right?
Speaker A [00:05:16]:
Sure. Has a shirt back
Speaker B [00:05:18]:
or a jacket? So she’s like, I have to run my other kid to practice. Can you just run the last 10 10 minutes of practice. Here’s what you do. Like, we’ll make a cone, have the kids dribble within it, and just try to keep their ball within the cones. I mean, I’m sure you can imagine because kid was 51.
Speaker A [00:05:33]:
Oh, yeah.
Speaker B [00:05:33]:
How how great that went.
Speaker A [00:05:35]:
It was like herding feral cats.
Speaker B [00:05:37]:
Yeah. But in that moment, while my kid’s hanging on me, and everyone else is trying to navigate this situation. I could have lost it because I was my brain was going in 15 different directions trying to follow all these kids and think How I should have done it, but instead, it was like, no. The point of this is for these kids to have some fun. So just take a deep Beth, have some patience and focus on that one.
Speaker A [00:06:02]:
They’re not bending it like Beckham quite yet.
Speaker B [00:06:04]:
Right? Yeah. So I think it applies in in many different places, you know, even just in the morning. How many how many things you have going on that you could be doing, but you can get it done so much faster. You Focus on 1.
Speaker A [00:06:17]:
Right. Very true. Mhmm. Yeah. 50,000,000 emails or
Speaker B [00:06:20]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:06:20]:
Is the challenge for me in this particular situation or one of them was that this Woman had a kid that was running her own. Mhmm. So sometimes she would get up to go take care of the kid. And I was like, I could check my email right now. But I had to force myself, like, don’t you dare open up anything. You stare at that Zoom screen until she comes back and just wait it out. Because I know if I get distracted there, Whatever that was happening when she comes back, that’s gonna be top of mind.
Speaker B [00:06:46]:
Yeah. And then I’m gonna
Speaker A [00:06:47]:
be off my game. Like, you just gotta be
Speaker B [00:06:49]:
focused. And so I think that that’s a really great point is When you try to focus on the now, you have to first catch yourself when you’re wanting to be distracted. Right? Because there are a 100 of other Things that could. You know, I find myself just picking up my phone and be like, cool. Just scroll. What’s the email that came in? Let me check on social, see how many likes I got in that post I just put up, whatever thing is Mhmm. And it is that idea of recognizing that you wanna bail and then checking yourself and saying, no. I need to stay present
Speaker A [00:07:18]:
Oh my gosh.
Speaker B [00:07:19]:
Is really helpful.
Speaker A [00:07:20]:
Something I constantly have to learn. Yeah. Because I’ll open up a program on my computer, and then the time that it’s opening up, I’ll go do something else. So I’m like, we have computers that are, whatever, a 100 times faster than they were with the space shuttle. Right? Like, supercomputers essentially from 20 years ago.
Speaker B [00:07:37]:
In the palm of your hand.
Speaker A [00:07:38]:
Yeah. And you think that the software would have been like, okay. Super fast computer. Let’s open up super fast. Nope. But it’s not. It still opens up like it’s
Speaker B [00:07:46]:
1984. Right.
Speaker A [00:07:47]:
So I gotta figure this out. So that
Speaker B [00:07:49]:
your reference.
Speaker A [00:07:50]:
Yeah. Right? So the Apple 2e
Speaker B [00:07:53]:
for this.
Speaker A [00:07:54]:
People as old as me. Anyways, it’s just one of those things where I have to try to build stuff in to prevent myself from, I don’t even know if it’s getting distracted. I’m just impatient. That’s what
Speaker B [00:08:06]:
it comes up to. Well, patience is hard. I am that way too. I get very impatient. I want things to happen faster than they do, and I I feel like I should be doing more sometimes. So you say you have to check yourself
Speaker A [00:08:16]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:08:16]:
From getting distracted. What are the sorts of things you do other than noticing it?
Speaker A [00:08:20]:
I lift up my right arm away from the mouse, like, physically.
Speaker B [00:08:25]:
That’s a good physical cue.
Speaker A [00:08:27]:
Because by the time you bring it back like, the program takes whatever, 5 seconds to open.
Speaker B [00:08:30]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:08:31]:
And it takes me I can open up another website in less than five Mhmm. Right? I can get on Craigslist or some social media thing or whatever and go down that rabbit hole. Yeah. I oddly enough, faster than right? Because, like, how many stars have to align or servers have to be wherever Right. For that to work, but that’s instant.
Speaker B [00:08:50]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:08:50]:
But I suppose maybe they know that. Right? Where the software is just like, hey. You’re gonna use the software. I’ll open up when it’s time. So I have to lift my arm up away from the mouse. Like, don’t touch the mouse.
Speaker B [00:09:01]:
Yeah. That’s a really good
Speaker A [00:09:01]:
physical cue. Flare up. I feel like a 12 year old or a kid. Like, this is dumb.
Speaker B [00:09:06]:
No. But if if it’s a great reminder, just be like, stay in the moment. Mhmm. One that I use if I’m waiting for something, especially, like, if I open a Zoom call and someone isn’t quite there yet, and so it’s Like, oh, I could go get on email. I could go check, but I need I’ve already prepped to be in this call and got my mind right.
Speaker A [00:09:25]:
I
Speaker B [00:09:25]:
can’t Breakaway. So it’s that idea of, like, well, I’ve probably been staring at a screen for half hour anyway. Let me just adjust my eyes and go look at something else. Right. It’s that it’s that idea of our it’s not good for our eyes to stare at a screen anyway. So let me lift my eyes and go look at something 10 feet away Or, you know, 20 feet away or take a look out the window, right, and just allow my brain to stay in the spot where it is, but allow my eyes to fixate on something else.
Speaker A [00:09:51]:
Gotcha. So you’re in the right gear, but the clutch is pushed in.
Speaker B [00:09:54]:
Oh, yeah. Good car reference. I love it.
Speaker A [00:09:56]:
That’s what you’re right. Another thing that I like to do is remind myself is what is the whole purpose. Yeah. When I was on the phone with this woman, I was thinking, okay. Once I get this figured out, calls will come in. They’ll be a good client, and I’ll make more money
Speaker B [00:10:12]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:10:13]:
Which is cool. I’ll have more free time. They’ll have more free time. Yeah. Their clients will be happier. My employees will be happier because they don’t have to fight with the phone system.
Speaker B [00:10:21]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:10:21]:
So all of these things will be the end result of me just taking the half hour or whatever to solve this.
Speaker B [00:10:28]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:10:28]:
So as long as I focused on that goal, I’m like, okay. I can run through this pain, right, carry this cross, whatever.
Speaker B [00:10:34]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:10:34]:
Analogy you wanna use to make it worthwhile.
Speaker B [00:10:38]:
Yeah. And I think that plays back to something that we’ve talked about before, this idea of how, right now, it seems really trendy and sexy to just go for instant gratification.
Speaker A [00:10:47]:
You know? Oh, yeah. And a lot
Speaker B [00:10:48]:
of things push us in that direction. But this idea of if I can Stay present in this moment. I will reap the benefit down the road. Right. With my clients, I kinda Take the angle of values because we talk a lot about how do you align your time with your values because so many people have a a high level vision for what they wanna accomplish in their life, but then you compare it to how they spend their time, they’re really misaligned. So in this situation, your values are that you help your clients and that they see you as a valuable Resource. Right? So that would be your value. So then your action aligns with the fact that it’s okay for me to take 10 more minutes here because my value is That I’m gonna serve this client well, and they’re gonna hang out.
Speaker A [00:11:27]:
Mhmm. Yeah. I like it. That’s very cool. It’s clever. I never thought about it with a value standpoint, but that’s a that’s a very good word. I use that with my employees a lot.
Speaker B [00:11:38]:
Well, it’s just a different angle on goal, and I think it really just depends what resonates Mhmm. People, sometimes you have really action oriented people who are all about the goal. But if people are like, I’m not a goal setter. You know? I really don’t have that. Cool. Then what’s important you and your life and how do we align it?
Speaker A [00:11:52]:
Yeah. Value to me seems almost better because it’s more long term or more current, Where goal is something that you’re going towards.
Speaker B [00:12:02]:
Sure.
Speaker A [00:12:02]:
Value is something that you maintain.
Speaker B [00:12:04]:
In the present. Yeah. Yeah. Something that you act into.
Speaker A [00:12:08]:
Yeah. So I like that. I like that. That’s very cool. It’s good nomenclature. Guess as far as that goes. But then also keeping track of the The short game Yeah. Right with which is for this particular person.
Speaker A [00:12:21]:
If I wasn’t willing or able to help her, who would? Regardless of what the goal is
Speaker B [00:12:26]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:12:27]:
Who would she turn to? My first thought was that she would call tech support for her cable company
Speaker B [00:12:32]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:12:32]:
Which I’ve called tech support for a cable company before.
Speaker B [00:12:35]:
Awful.
Speaker A [00:12:35]:
Wouldn’t call it great. Mhmm. So and I wouldn’t call them helpful. And usually and maybe this is their idea. You can solve the problem while you’re waiting on hold. Yeah. So
Speaker B [00:12:48]:
Did you ever watch the IT crowd?
Speaker A [00:12:49]:
I did not.
Speaker B [00:12:50]:
Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again? Like, it’s just it’s an older show, but It’s so good. Go check out the IT crowd.
Speaker A [00:12:56]:
It’s I just started watching the movie. Oh my gosh. It’s, the it’s a weird movie, but the beginning is with David Schwimmer, the guy from Friends.
Speaker B [00:13:05]:
Yeah. Okay.
Speaker A [00:13:05]:
And, the British guy that’s in the Mission Impossible movies, Simon Pegg.
Speaker B [00:13:12]:
Okay.
Speaker A [00:13:13]:
And they’re they’re a phone system
Speaker B [00:13:15]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:13:15]:
Or tech support, whatever call center, and they have something like that. Like, did you try Try turning it off.
Speaker B [00:13:20]:
Yeah. Right.
Speaker A [00:13:21]:
And try to sound all chipper, but then they put the person on hold and insult them. It’s kinda funny.
Speaker B [00:13:26]:
Well but okay. Back to the short term piece here. So who would have helped person true, but how much longer would it have taken you to actually start doing the work for this client if you wouldn’t have just sucked it up and helped them through this?
Speaker A [00:13:37]:
Oh, you know, we technically had already started taking calls. Mhmm. But interesting thing, no calls has actually come in. So my crew was trained and prepared, and no calls were coming in, and no one on my crew told me until the afternoon. Oh, interesting. So I said, hey. How’s this new client going? They’re like, funny story. They must be pretty slow.
Speaker A [00:14:01]:
No calls have come in.
Speaker B [00:14:03]:
Oh, that’s a red flag.
Speaker A [00:14:04]:
And I said, no, like, none or no, like, few? Yeah. And they said, no, like, none. So that’s what I’m like, No. That thing.
Speaker B [00:14:12]:
Right? Right.
Speaker A [00:14:13]:
So you dig into the problem. You reach out to clients, and, oh, yeah. Funny story. The calls are going to you. So let’s fix that kind of thing.
Speaker B [00:14:21]:
Also cool system check to be like, in the future, we’re going to add to the checklist. If no calls come in in the 1st 4 hours, we will check-in with the client.
Speaker A [00:14:28]:
So it’s Funny that you say that because I’m reading this book about systems Mhmm. Essentially. Right? Interesting book. Well, I take it back. It was an interesting book until today. I’m reading about an example system, for this particular one is about making deposits for the company.
Speaker B [00:14:46]:
Okay.
Speaker A [00:14:46]:
And it’s a little bit older books. They’re talking about depositing checks.
Speaker B [00:14:49]:
Sure.
Speaker A [00:14:49]:
But for the person who’s deposit depositing the checks to deposit the checks, this is a system. And the guy said it was a simple 53 step process.
Speaker B [00:14:58]:
Oh my gosh.
Speaker A [00:14:59]:
Look. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah.
Speaker B [00:15:02]:
That sounds right.
Speaker A [00:15:03]:
Is gonna follow 53 step. But he had it, like, go to the mailbox, collect the mail, Put all of the envelopes on your desk in a pile. Open the envelopes, and it just broke it down to way, way, way, way, way.
Speaker B [00:15:18]:
Grade level.
Speaker A [00:15:18]:
Yeah. Maybe less than that. It was bizarre. So I was thinking if I told my employees, hey. We got a simple 53 step process for you to verify that client has calls coming to us. They’d be like, great, James. And they’d never follow that
Speaker B [00:15:33]:
system. We wouldn’t even open it. Exactly.
Speaker A [00:15:36]:
But if I said, hey. We got a simple 3 step process
Speaker B [00:15:38]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:15:39]:
And this is when you’re gonna do it. Right at noon, set an alarm, put a calendar reminder. These are the 3 steps. Way more likely to happen.
Speaker B [00:15:45]:
Easy button. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. The power of 3. Make it simple. Well, what I think is interesting here though is that you’re also keeping it front and center that you need to prioritize your priorities.
Speaker A [00:15:57]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:15:58]:
And your priority is serving the client. Right. That’s your value. That’s your goal. And so all of these other things that could have distracted you, email and a buzzing phone that could have been employees and all these other things. Not that they’re not important. There will be time for that. Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:16:11]:
But the priority is the client who’s gonna keep your business running and who you wanna serve. So they refer other folks and have experience. So I think sometimes it’s really easy for us to get distracted by all the things we feel like we should be doing.
Speaker A [00:16:24]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:16:24]:
And we just need to take A breath and be like, what is the most important thing right now?
Speaker A [00:16:30]:
Correct. Yeah. At this moment right now. Mhmm. Because then you’re focusing on that. I just read a quote. It was something about there’s, like, the sun is super powerful, but doesn’t really do anything until it’s focused. Oh.
Speaker A [00:16:40]:
So it was kinda there’s I’m sure it’s way, Way better written or spoken than that.
Speaker B [00:16:46]:
That was very eloquent, I think.
Speaker A [00:16:47]:
But the idea captured it.
Speaker B [00:16:48]:
Yeah. Appreciate
Speaker A [00:16:49]:
that. But it kinda Gives you the idea that you have lots of power.
Speaker B [00:16:53]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:16:54]:
But if you’re not focused, it’s a waste. Right. Kinda or you didn’t accomplish what you wanted to accomplish. Mhmm. Pardon me. I have a challenge with this, with training new clients and all that kind
Speaker B [00:17:04]:
of stuff.
Speaker A [00:17:05]:
I wanna train the the crew on 50,000,000 different things. Right?
Speaker B [00:17:10]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:17:10]:
We were just talking about leadership. I’m trying to think what is today, Friday, we talked about leadership because we had we have had potential clients reach out to us. Typically, what happens with that, when a person’s calling you, they’ve already done their homework. They’ve done a lot of stuff. Right? So they’re essentially walking in the store
Speaker B [00:17:31]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:17:32]:
And saying, hey. I wanna buy something.
Speaker B [00:17:34]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:17:34]:
And we were essentially saying, look around. Instead of saying, This is what we have. This is how you get it. Yeah. And so I said, you can’t be the typical empathetic, super kind person that you used to be. You have to be the leader. Mhmm. And a leader can still be kind.
Speaker A [00:17:54]:
Leader can still be empathetic, but leader has to lead and actually get the person to follow them. Be the person in the store that says, I’m totally happy to help you. Right? We have these red sweaters on sale or something like that. Whatever it is.
Speaker B [00:18:06]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:18:07]:
And it was interesting because the crew’s like, What? I can’t be a leader, or what about x, y, and z, and they try to play devil’s advocate?
Speaker B [00:18:14]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:18:15]:
I’m like, in this situation and then we went back to, with phone calls. We had a client client call in crisis, and one of our agents just locked up. Mhmm. She didn’t know what to do. Mhmm. Because it’s pretty rare that a that a caller calls in crisis. This is 1, suicidal, whatever. And I’m like, you don’t get to be lost Yeah.
Speaker A [00:18:34]:
When that call comes in because that person’s relying on you for help.
Speaker B [00:18:38]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:18:38]:
So you gotta be the leader.
Speaker B [00:18:41]:
Wow. And I think that that speaks to this whole idea of there are a lot of things that get thrown at us through the day, so there really it there really has to be this switch.
Speaker A [00:18:51]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:18:51]:
And it’s not natural. It’s a practiced thing that we just need to keep going through. But What do you do when something happens? You need to flip a switch and be able to be present. So it’s practicing that situation in advance. You’re not gonna be able to practice every situation that could ever come across your desk, but at least have a switch to say, you know, if I have 15 things going on, A perfect example. My my girlfriend’s, also has a a kindergartner, and she broke her arms 2nd It’s school.
Speaker A [00:19:22]:
Oh, nice.
Speaker B [00:19:24]:
But there’s a switch. Right? She’s going about her day. She runs a business, but it’s mostly centered during the summer, So it was over, and she’s cleaning things up, and she gets a phone call from school. Right? So she has to immediately switch from business mode to mom mode like that, flip of a switch, And and then be present in that moment for her kid. And I feel like sometimes it’s easier for us if it’s family oriented because you just know Mom or dad, it’s easy to put that hat on.
Speaker A [00:19:49]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:19:49]:
But we don’t think about the different hats we wear in our business and how we need to take one Often put a new one on at the you know, at a moment’s notice.
Speaker A [00:19:57]:
Right. Yeah. I think it’s controlling or preparing not necessarily for the The thing Yeah. The fact of the challenge or whatever. Mhmm. It’s preparing yourself emotionally so that if something happens, What is the state that I need to be in to take care of this?
Speaker B [00:20:14]:
Yeah. That if I get
Speaker A [00:20:15]:
in a car accident, I’m not just, right, that you’re just like, okay. Who needs help and just go about your business, taking care of stuff, and kinda remove a lot of the emotion
Speaker B [00:20:25]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:20:25]:
And just look at, like, what is the best thing for me to do at this moment. What is the next step that I have to take? Forget about 50 steps, 53 steps.
Speaker B [00:20:33]:
You’re right.
Speaker A [00:20:34]:
What is the next step that I have to take care of?
Speaker B [00:20:36]:
Yeah. Well, and I think that sometimes We there’s fight, flight, or freeze. And I think that there’s a a tendency for some of us to, To, you know, immediately go into action mode, but feel like we need to do 50 things.
Speaker A [00:20:49]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:20:50]:
There’s you know, I’m just gonna leave this situation, or Or there’s the freeze, like what you said. You know? People can just get locked up.
Speaker A [00:20:56]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:20:57]:
But there’s this tool that, I used to teach girls on the run, and we were teaching it to 3rd through 5th graders, but I’m like, we need to be teaching this to adults in the workforce. And it’s the idea of it was stop and take a breather. And so it was this idea that, like, when you encounter something and you feel like you’re going to react, stop, take a breath, Evaluate the situation, respond, and then, and then, I guess, evaluate the backside. Right? So you take a breath to slow your body down and try to get yourself out of that flight freeze flight or fight mode. Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:21:35]:
And
Speaker B [00:21:35]:
just be Like, woah. Let me just take a breath and try to evaluate. And then once you do that, then you can try to see from a higher level maybe what your options are. So when we were teaching it to the kids, it was like, oh, this kid Just kick the back of my chair. I’m gonna take a deep breath. What could I do? I could flip out.
Speaker A [00:21:49]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:21:49]:
I could just ignore it. I could tell the teacher these are all my options. I choose 1, and then I do the thing, and then I see I evaluate. How did that go? How did that not go? You know? It’s kind of the whole scientific method. Sure. Well, I think, though, that we forget the stop and breathe part. And then as such, we jump to the 1st conclusion that comes into our brain, and we can’t see the other options.
Speaker A [00:22:13]:
Alright.
Speaker B [00:22:14]:
So I think the huge piece of this that a lot of us adults Don’t do well is just take a breath. It’s okay. Like, unless you are, like, a client of mine who’s a a critical care Flight nurse who’s helping save people’s lives as they go from one facility to another, life or death is probably not on the line. So just take a breath. Evaluate.
Speaker A [00:22:34]:
Yeah. It’s interesting you say that because I was telling this one of the employees that had a challenge with that or was worried about getting one of these crisis calls. Mhmm. I gave her some tools to use to shift her focus because she wanted to be all scared and, like, what do I do? Like, what if they actually Kill themselves while they’re on the phone or something like that Right. Or hurt someone else. That’s your job is to is 2 things. One, let them know that you’re gonna help them, and 2, shift their focus. Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:23:02]:
So they shift their focus. Right?
Speaker B [00:23:04]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:23:04]:
So so what if you said something like, I’m gonna get you the help that you need, but I just need a moment. And then you said, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I just spilled my coffee on my keyboard. Can you just give me a second here? Right. So then the person is focusing on the the coffee on the keyboard.
Speaker B [00:23:20]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:23:20]:
The caller is focusing like, oh, I’m sorry. What? Right? Sure. Yeah. Whatever you need to do.
Speaker B [00:23:24]:
Yeah. And
Speaker A [00:23:25]:
it’s interesting because I told my employee to do this, and my employee Reacted back to me, and she’s I’m sorry. She didn’t react back to me. She pretended as if she was doing that. Okay. I spilled the coffee on my keyboard, and then she said, I’m so sorry you’re having this problem. And I’m like, no. No. You don’t get to say that because then you’re focusing them back on their problem.
Speaker A [00:23:43]:
Right. You want them to focus on something else. Mhmm. External. Whatever it is. Right? Tell them you just farted or something. Anything other than this crisis thing.
Speaker B [00:23:54]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:23:54]:
But you shift their focus.
Speaker B [00:23:55]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:23:56]:
Don’t apologize. And then you get them to think about something else. You can get them the help you need, and you get that moment where you can take a breath.
Speaker B [00:24:04]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:24:04]:
Figure out what are the next steps that we have to take. In this case, it’s who do we reach out to Mhmm. Through our clients and stuff like that.
Speaker B [00:24:10]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:24:11]:
But it gives them a moment, and it shifts the focus from the caller Yeah. So nothing drastic or crazy is gonna happen.
Speaker B [00:24:17]:
That’s really powerful. And I think in Some of these crisis situations, it is really easy for us to try to go into fix it mode.
Speaker A [00:24:25]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:24:25]:
How am I gonna fix it? And sometimes we need to realize that People just need someone to listen, and they’re throwing up a flag because no one has been listening or they don’t feel like they are seen or heard. And so Throwing them that lifeline of, yeah, I’m here. I will see, and I will hear you. But also, like, holy crap. There’s other things Going on in the world, and just this place that you exist in and this view that you have is is powerful. Get them out of their own head.
Speaker A [00:24:53]:
Right? Plus these people are calling. So if they’re taking the time to call, they’re interested in either getting help or being heard.
Speaker B [00:24:59]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:25:00]:
So if we can shift their focus long enough, not permanently Yeah. For long enough so that a trained therapist can talk with them. Rather than us trying to be. Like, we’re not therapists. Mhmm. I mean, to like, a bartender’s a therapist. Like, that’s our level.
Speaker B [00:25:14]:
Right. Exactly.
Speaker A [00:25:15]:
Notch lower than that.
Speaker B [00:25:16]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:25:17]:
But it’s interesting, and it was interesting how, my employee just wanted to keep going back to the empathy, the sorry, sorry, sorry. You’re having this problem. But it’s I’m like, this is just like a dog. When the dog sees like, the dog hurts the paw. Yeah. And the dog doesn’t react until you react. So you’re like, oh my gosh. You hurt your paw? The dog’s like, I totally did.
Speaker A [00:25:36]:
I totally did hurt my paw. Uh-huh. Ran the treats. I hurt my paw. Right? But if you just ignore it
Speaker B [00:25:42]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:25:42]:
It’ll just keep like, it hurt my.
Speaker B [00:25:44]:
Lock it off.
Speaker A [00:25:45]:
If it’s life. Yeah. So the more that you focus on it, the more you’re gonna make it painful for the Person or dog or whatever. So it’s very challenging because you wanna be empathetic.
Speaker B [00:25:56]:
Right.
Speaker A [00:25:56]:
On the other side, what’s the big goal?
Speaker B [00:25:59]:
Yeah. Well, that gets back to your point of you gotta have you gotta be able to just take a breath, but also look at the big picture.
Speaker A [00:26:04]:
Right.
Speaker B [00:26:05]:
What are we trying to accomplish here?
Speaker A [00:26:06]:
Mhmm.
Speaker B [00:26:06]:
And If we don’t give ourselves time to do that, it’s hard to check back in there.
Speaker A [00:26:11]:
Then you have lots of activity
Speaker B [00:26:13]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:26:13]:
Helping this or I shouldn’t say helping this person. Apologizing. So sorry you feel this way. Right. Tell me your life story kinda thing.
Speaker B [00:26:20]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:26:21]:
And you’re you’re busy. You’re doing activities.
Speaker B [00:26:25]:
Mhmm.
Speaker A [00:26:25]:
But are you really accomplishing what you want?
Speaker B [00:26:28]:
Right. Well, now it gets back to the whole meaningful progress thing.
Speaker A [00:26:30]:
Mhmm. Meaningful. I like that.
Speaker B [00:26:32]:
So it’s the idea that, you know, you can be doing A 100 things in a day. But if you’re not really doing the things that are moving you forward, then what are we doing? Right. So I I like that because it it kinda pulls Back to this power of constraint, the idea of 3 things and and how you focus and organize your day, but it’s really just being intentional about how you spend your over time, whether it’s in the moment or planning into the future. And I think another thing that we didn’t really talk about yet but is helpful here is it’s Easier to be in the now when you have planned and already seen where you’re going.
Speaker A [00:27:08]:
Definitely.
Speaker B [00:27:08]:
So in the mornings, there’s this, 6 phase meditation, Vishen Lakhiani. He’s the founder of Mindvalley. And it’s a a meditation that he does, but it walks you through thinking about, You know, what are things that you like about yourself? What are things that you’re grateful for? What moments in your day? But then he also has you Envision your perfect day. Mhmm. And, like, think about the different things that are happening and how that day is going to play out before it even happens because then you’re almost You’re putting an intention into the world that this is how my do day is going to play out, and then you have that subconsciously so that when the day does play out, You have a better idea of, oh, well, but this is my focus.
Speaker A [00:27:48]:
Sure.
Speaker B [00:27:48]:
This is where I need to be.
Speaker A [00:27:50]:
So you have a blueprint for the day instead of just Mhmm. I know I have to do these things, but I guess I can see your point there because I’m not necessarily focusing on what I expect to end out come to be. Yeah. I know I have to come record a podcast. I didn’t necessarily think about what does that mean, how is it gonna go, and all that kind of stuff. Interesting. I like that.
Speaker B [00:28:07]:
Yeah.
Speaker A [00:28:07]:
That’s clever.
Speaker B [00:28:08]:
Well, So today, we’ve talked about how to focus on the now, and there’s a lot of different ways that this can apply in life and in business.
Speaker A [00:28:16]:
Totally true. And it’s important. Otherwise, you’re running like a rat on a wheel. Right. Exactly. Sweating and not accomplishing anything.
Speaker B [00:28:25]:
And then soon you’ll just fall over.
Speaker A [00:28:26]:
Yeah. So this has been Diary of a Worthy Pursuit.
Speaker B [00:28:29]:
Where we talk about how to get what you truly want in life and in business.